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Dad Hacks Donkey Kong So Daughter Can 'Play As The Girl'


Mike Mika's 3 year old daughter began to play Donkey Kong and noticed something was off...

donkey fire police
Oddly, it wasn't the fact that a gorilla had climbed to the top of a building under construction and was throwing barrels and fire down at passerby and the only person who was doing anything about it was a crazed plumber who decided to take the law into his own hands.

The Huffington Post reports that Mr. Mika saw how sad his 3-year-old daughter was that she didn't have a girl to play as in the game. Mike tried to explain to her that girls are too weak to jump over barrels, and anyway they be too busy cleaning kitchens to notice that an ape had taken over a construction yard, but she was having none of it. Typical female obstinance.

donkey girl
Yes we can! Rescue that... plumber... from that... monkey?

So Mike basically turned into the computer programmer version of super dad and reprogrammed the entire game to make Pauline, the helpless girl at the top of the tower, the protagonist. Mario, meanwhile, the previously plucky (or horny enough not to be afraid depending on how you look at it) plumber became the damsel in distress at the top of the tower.

women in charge
An artist's depiction of what the world would look like if women were in charge.

In general it's kind of an awesome idea to have gender options for heroes in video games. That kind of lesson, that boys and girls can both be heroes, and the corollary lesson, that boys and girls can both be helpless whiny victims, seems of extraordinary value for both genders at an early age. Maybe they should make video games that teach boys it's OK to cry too. Then I'd have a lot less idiot male friends who were all sad and didn't know what to do so they just ran around punching things.

Check out Pauline's attempts to save Mario.

Who do you think is physically stronger, a girl or an ape three times her size? Let us know in the comments below!


Check out our least favorite things about making out with Donkey Kong!

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