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Shark Girl Goes Swimming with GREAT WHITE SHARK?!


There is no creature more frightening than the great white shark. It has razor sharp teeth, beady, soulless eyes, and doesn't ever sleep because it's too busy killing. So why did conservationist Ocean Ramsey make a video of herself swimming with nature's most potent death machine? Well, she wanted to prove that maybe great whites aren't as murder-prone as we all thought. OR the shark could just be trying a new tactic, like Ra's al Ghul tried killing Gotham with economics rather than fire. Perhaps this shark is killing Ocean Ramsey with kindness.

Kindness is just about the least effective method of killing.

So let's talk about sharks for a minute. Ramsey wanted to show "that this is what they're really like — not the Hollywood movie where you put a drop of blood in the water and the animals go crazy." But I don't get how Ramsey discovered this in the first place. The first time she went swimming with sharks, what made her think she wouldn't be immediately eaten? Who instructed her to just find out if sharks are actually monsters? Because simply hopping in the water with the most dangerous creatures, at least mythologically, human beings have ever seen is far from a good idea.

mario 64 eel star
The only reason we should ever go swimming with sea monsters is to get the
"Can the Eel Come Out to Play" star from Jolly Roger Bay.


But Ramsey might be working in its goal to reshape our assumptions about sharks. Once I saw this particular great white acting so nice, I looked up the number of shark attacks in the United States, and found that they're actually at a ten year low. And besides that, there was only one shark-related fatality reported last year. That means that, last year, as many people died from shark attacks as they did from planking.

Let's see Spielberg make a terse thriller out of THIS.

So, maybe I was wrong. Maybe sharks aren't quite the analog to the Angel of Death I thought they were. I'm glad I saw Ocean Ramsey's video, because as economist John Maynard Keyes once said, "There is no harm in being sometimes wrong — especially if one is promptly found out." I hope sharks can look past my ingrained biases, and maybe we can even be friends.

chased by shark
"Ha ha ha! No YOU'RE it!"

Are you willing to turn around your views on sharks? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


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