The braintrust over at ABC (home of Don’t Trust the B-- in Apartment 23 and Malibu Country) is currently developing a sitcom based on teen pop phenom Justin “the Biebs” Bieber’s early life. Wondering how the writers are gonna tackle such a scintillating topic? You’re in luck – we here at Smosh just so happened to stumble upon a stack of plots for future episodes, all of which were scrawled in bubble letters on Lisa Frank stationary.
While leaning over the kitchen sink, eating a sandwich (a Subway 6-inch Italian B.M.T., incidentally), Justin accidentally drops his retainer in the garbage disposal. The Biebs has to devise a way to get it out without shredding his hand and/or the retainer, 'cause mom would be PISSED if either of those scenarios happened. PISSED, I tell you!
Justin eats too much chocolate and gets a tummy ache. And the only cure is...hugs from mommy!
Phone Phun [sic]
In a delightful callback to the Twitter prank he pulled earlier this year (which resulted in a lawsuit), The Biebster accidentally tweets his REAL phone number to 32 million followers. When True Beliebers flood his cell with calls, he pretends to be an indignant old man...with hilarious results!
Shorty Wanna Steer
Justin runs out of tinted moisturizer and has to make a trip to Sephora...the only trouble is, he can't find a phone book to put in the driver's seat of his chromed out Fisker Karma! How's he gonna see over the steering wheel?
After School Fool
Justin attempts to get an after school job but encounters a problem when every single one of his potential employers realize he's wholly incompetent. Once scene in particular, in which Señor Biebie tries (in vain) to take someone’s order at Jack in the Box, is an instant classic!
Justin gets asked out by a girl in his class, played by Selena Gomez (woooo!). He accepts, but then has to figure out how to act like he's not a robot incapable of actual love and romance (i.e., a Real Boy). He makes a valiant effort, but it’s all over once he starts short circuiting.
Sucky at Science
Justin has to conduct an experiment for the school science fair...but his daddy, the guy who usually does his school assignments, is out of town! How's he gonna pull it off and not look like a dummy? Looks like he's gonna have to outsource the job to...guest star physicist Stephen Hawking!
The Biebs throws up on stage again, but this time he can't stop...until his mommy comes out and rubs his tummy. His reason for throwing up? Eating too much chocolate! Justin, I thought your mommy told you to stop that!
Will you be watching the new Bieber sitcom? If so, WHY?!? Let me know in the comments!