It used to be that if there was one place where we could go and play safely with our children, it was an open-air park frequented by predatory birds. But ever since this video of a golden eagle grabbing a kid hit the internet, well, last night, that sense of security has gone right out the window.
Could have been worse. The KID could have gone right out the window.
The eagle dropped the kid right back to Earth immediately afterwards, so seemingly, he wasn't hurt. Although, I wouldn't be shocked if he develops a case of ornithophobia, the irrational fear of birds. On the other hand, it could go the other way, and this kid could vow revenge on birds, and never rest until every bird is punished.
I could get down with a bird-themed Punisher.
Of course, a lot of YouTube commenters are claiming the video is fake, pointing to inconsistencies in the shadow and the way the bird's wing seems to appear and disappear. But keep in mind, people who research the validity of an internet video are the absolute worst. Besides, there is still a lot we can learn from this video. Even if it is fake, should we let that detract from the overall message of the video?
That message of course is that EAGLES ARE F*CKIN CRAZY MAN,
THEY'LL F*CK YOU UP.
The most important question to ask right now isn't whether or not the video is fake, but what the eagle wanted. Was this a kidnapping attempt? Is this eagle hard up for cash? Was he going to ransom that kid back to his parents? Or was this a vengeance-based attack? Are eagles mad at us for naming our most disappointing football team after them?
Seriously, the Eagles are REALLY bad at football.
What do you think were the eagle's motives? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out New York Town Must Choose Between BLOWING UP BALD EAGLES and Having AWESOME FIREWORKS.