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Parents Name Their Daughter 'Hashtag'?

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My aunt and uncle recently had a baby and were having trouble naming her, so I thought I'd help out. My suggestion? Hermione Marie from Breaking Bad. I know, I know, it's kind of silly, but it sounds ADORABLE with their last name.


parents with cute baby
Yes, little Hermione Marie from Breaking Bad is a beautiful addition to the Power Ranger family.
(source)

But even I, with my baby-naming ability as horrendous as it is, know that it would be absolutely idiotic to name a baby after a piece of twitter's functionality. So that should let you know how asinine this post on Facebook is, announcing the birth of little baby Hashtag Jameson.


facebook baby hashtag
This is the craziest thing Twitter's inspired since the Arab Spring.
(source)

Why would anyone name their daughter after a hashtag? I'm working REALLY hard to understand the rational. Does Jameson mother think that anything her daughter says will start trending? Does she know how Twitter works? And at the very least, she's eliminating any hope her daughter has of ever doing something awesome in the world and trending on Twitter herself, since the only people who use the hashtag "#hashtag" are self-aware hipsters commenting on the overuse of hashtags.


hashtag hashtag
#Hashtag might as well be #CoveringDeepAndOverwhelmingSadnessWithIrony
(source)

We don't know a lot about the mother of ole' Hashtag here, but we do know this — she absolutely hates her child. I know, I know. She wrote that she "luv(s) her so much!!!!!!", but if you name your child after not only a part of Twitter but part of Twitter that's RUINING Twitter, well, you're asking for her to get bullied in school. And if there's any justice in the world, Hashtag will be bullied by a kid named after the part of Twitter that's being ruined by hashtags.


bullied at school
"I heard Hashtag's gonna get beaten up by Coherent Clear Conversation!"
(source)

What internet-inspired nonsense are you going to use to name your child? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 


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