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Cartoon Kids That Should Be Taken Into Protective Custody!

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We love cartoon kids. We tune in every week to see what wacky adventures they'll get in to next. If you really think about it though, the lives that these kids live are kind of horrific. I would never wish these sort of "adventures" on any real child. Here are cartoon kids that should be taken in to protective custody.

 

Dora The Explorer

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Dora does exactly what the title of the shows says that she does. She explores. The problem is that she is way too young to be going off by herself every day with only a monkey to protect her from the evils of the world. To be honest, I'm kind of surprised that monkey hasn't tried to rip her limbs off yet. Sometimes she has to baby sit he even younger cousin Diego. I'm pretty sure that they're both going to get eaten by that fox.

 

Gohan (Dragonball Z)

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After his father dies, he enters the custody of Piccolo so that he can be trained. Of course, this training involves being stranded in the wilderness for six months and left to fight dinosaurs by himself. That's some pretty blatent child abuse. If any real guardian did that, they'd be locked away in jail for the rest of their life.

 

Huey, Dewey, and Louie (Ducktales)

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It seemed like a really nice thing for rich Uncle Scrooge McDuck to take in his three wayward nephews. Surely with his wealth, he would be able to provide a safe and happy home for the trio to grow up in. Unfortunately, Scrooge was obsessed with treasure hunting and used the three young ducks as his adventuring companions. This put them in constant iminent danger ranger from mummies to evil witches. Oh, yeah. And when they weren't seeking out danger, robbers were trying to murder them for their money. HIRE SOMEONE TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK, SCROOGE. You're not being very good at being rich.

 

Jonny Quest

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Jonny Quest is one of the old school action cartoons. That doesn't justify how this kid lives his life. His father takes him all over the world to solve incredibly dangerous mysteries. I'm still a little suspicious of exactly why Race Bannon was around and what kind of relationship he had with Jonny off screen. It seemed a little creepy.

 

Bart, Lisa, and Maggie (The Simpsons)

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These three might be the most famous cartoon kids that ever existed. The good thing about this series is that they at least acknowledge how bad Homer and Marge are at parenting. There have been multiple episodes where one or more of the kids were taken away from them only to be returned by the end of the episode. It's a shame too. Lisa might really have a future if she wasn't so saddled down by the rest of the Simpson clan. Oh well, who needs a cure for cancer anyway?

 

Too Much (Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos)

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Too Much is basically bait that Chuck Norris personally oversees. Chuck Norris constantly fights an evil organaization that is totally not COBRA from G.I. Joe. Those guys tend to kidnap Too Much since he's a kid that can't defend himself against someone as scary as "Super Ninja". They never really explain why exactly Too Much is around. I personally think that Chuck Norris must have kidnapped him as a baby. After seeing this show, I don't think Chuck Norris should ever be allowed around children again.

 

Dumb Donald (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids)

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You could probably say that any of the Cosby Kids should be taken in to protective custody. Most of them are homeless and they spend every day hanging out in a junkyard. Of all of them, Dumd Donald needs the most help. He is slower than the rest of the kids, and rather than get enrolled in special classes that could really help him, everyone just calls him dumb and makes fun of him. They better be careful because one of these days Donald is going to fly in to an uncontrollable rage and probably take down a few of the Cosby Kids in the process. Who's laughing now?

 

What cartoon kids do you think deserve a better life? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!

 

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