I almost never jump from outer space, reaching speeds of up to and beyond 700 miles per hour on my descent to Earth. I try to avoid it if I can. Sometimes it's unavoidable, like if I'm late for a meeting, and I happen to stuck on the border between Earth's atmosphere and space, but mostly I can get by without doing it. Felix Baumgartner however just did it. And he did it for the most badass reason of all: for the sheer f*ck of it.
Pictured above: Felix Baumgartner taking some time off to just relax.
Yes, Mashable reports that Felix's jump from outer-f*cking-space broke a number of jumping and/or falling related records including: highest jump from a platform (128,100 feet), the longest distance freefall (119,846 feet) and maximum vertical velocity (833.9 mph or Mach 1.24). He the first human being that wasn't inside a jet or a mech warrior to break the sound barrier with the sheer weight of his own body.
Here's someone in a jet breaking the sound barrier. Or, as Felix likes to call him: a giant p*ssy.
But Felix didn't just break the sound barrier. Or tons of shocking freefall records. He also broke the most important record of all: concurrent Youtube livestream views. 8 million people simultaneously watched him. To be fair though, many of those people quickly got distracted by their simultaneous reddit browser window when they saw someone had made a subreddit about penguins wearing fezzes.
D'aaawwww. Reddit! D'aaawwww!
You know how it's scary to fall for like 8 seconds straight down? Imagine falling for over 4. straight. minutes. Remember how it's scary to jump from the really diving board? Imagine falling from outer.space. Here's what I'm saying. I don't care whether you're a man, a woman, old, or infirmed. We all owe Felix Baumgartner a date.
BONUS! Some helmet cam footage from Austrian TV:
What do you plan to do with your fame after you fall 180,000 feet straight down? Let us know in the comments below!
Check out the now classic Jumping Rob meme!