It was announced yesterday that we're going to see the Angry Birds up on the big screen. The producer of Despicable Me, John Coen, will produce the Angry Birds movie for summer 2016. The press release announcing the film actually brags about Cohen's previous projects saying he "had the idea to reimagine Alvin and the Chipmunks and developed the 2007 film." So we can expect some high f*ckin' comedy from this movie.

"What if the bird farts and then a pig farts and then the
audience farts and then everyone farts?"
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While nobody yet knows exactly what a movie version of Angry Birds might be, I'd be pretty happy if the film was literally an hour and 45 minutes of Angry Birds gameplay on a movie screen.

Act three is A LOT like acts one and two.
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It's pretty cool for Angry Birds to make it to the big screen, though. Getting a movie adaptation is pretty much the Holy Grail for video games, and gives the game a certain clout. And besides that, video game movies are pretty much universally acclaimed and respected.

We got a real goddamn Titanic over here.
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But the real question about this announcement is this: Why? Angry Birds is already a really fun game — why potentially ruin it with a movie? So let's see if we can figure out why an Angry Birds film would come about. It could be a) to celebrate the third anniversary of Angry Birds, b) to give fans of the franchise more content to enjoy, or c) to make ALL OF THE MONEY THAT IS LEFT IN THE WORLD.

We must prepare for the post-Angry Birds economy.
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Have YOU already marked your calendar for the 2016 release of Angry Birds? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

It’s the season of giving, which is great when you’re on the receiving end of that giving but not-so-great when you’re expected to reciprocate buying something for the douche bag you were assigned to in Secret Santa. Rather than turn bitter about throwing your hard-earned cash at the person who knowingly asked your crush to Homecoming, why not get a little creative with a strategically sucky holiday present? Here are some gift ideas to give to frenemies.

Clothing From Forever 21

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You know that dress is going to fall apart after five washes. But, like any clothing one purchases from Forever 21, she’ll remember how cute it was when she first received it, and she won’t be able to process that she’d be justified in throwing it out now that it’s clinging awkwardly to the top of her butt. She’ll keep it in the back of her closet cluttering up valuable pole space, and eventually it’ll contribute to her not being able to find that skirt you both own but you had first.

A Too-Intricate Personal Planner

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This time of year, malls are freaking out about how you’re going to want to buy calendars and agendas for your loved ones. In practice, however, planners often end up being a total bummer, as they contain more goal-planning sections than hours of the day in which one actually has the motivation to be productive. Give your frenemy one of those “Plan of Action” Filofaxes and watch as he realizes he’s complacent letting his Harvard dreams slip away.

Skechers Shape Ups

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Not only are these shoes strange-looking, but they’re associated with injury lawsuits and claims that they just don’t work. Your frenemy will think you’re looking out for her physical fitness, but you’re really just looking for her to start limping through those cheer routines.

Folgers Coffee

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More like, “The worst part of waking up,” am I right? Folgers is weaksauce and doesn’t really fulfill the duty of coffee, which makes it a great gift for someone whom you’d like to see suffer. And even if your frenemy is one of those people who responds well to just a little caffeine, there’s always the possibility that you’ll get him hooked to the point where he’s falling asleep in that curved math class.

A Dell

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You can be all like, “Dude, you’re getting a Dell!” and then pretend you had no idea it would crash in the middle of finals week three years later. Because it will do that, whether or not you will it to be so. But in the meantime, you just gave your Secret Santa a frickin’ computer!

A Diseased Puppy

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Every animal deserves a home, even the ones that will die shortly after New Year’s. Your frenemy is probably a lonely person, so getting a puppy around the holidays will be a nice thing in the short-term. Then she’ll be all grief-stricken before the musical tryouts in January, and you’ll for SURE be cast as Elphaba because now you’re… WICKED.

What other gifts could you give to a frenemy? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out People Robert Pattinson Should Go Out With Now!

We all know that Santa watches all of us at all times. It's totally not creepy though. He's just trying to see if you're naughty or nice. I'm willing to be pretty much every one of you should be on the naughty list. It's getting pretty close to Christmas so you better do something fast or you're going to miss out on presents. I don't know about you, but waiting to open presents on Christmas day is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going every year. Here are ways to get on Santa's Nice List.

Volunteer

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There are always charities that need volunteers. You haven't helped a single person all year so you might as well do something for someone else. Pick any charity and contact them to see how you can help. It's only once a year. You won't have to do it again for a whole year. It'd be nice if you did it more than once, but you're kind of naughty. Once is enough.

Write A Holiday Song

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There are a lot of super terrible holiday songs. Do you think those people wrote and recorded them because they were filled with the Christmas spirit and inspired to write a sincere and uplifting song? Of course not. They just wanted to get on Santa's Nice List. Learn how to play a few simple powers chords on guitar and write a crappy holiday song. As long as you pretend the entire time that it's sincere, Santa and everyone else will act like it's great.

Get Better Grades

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You're going to get a report card right before Christmas. If you have terrible grades, there is no way you're going to get any presents from Santa. The thing that people don't realize about teachers is they can pretty much give you whatever grade you feel like. I didn't make straight A's because I was smart or a good student. I sucked up and hard. We're talking compliments, presents, favors. Get them to like you so they will feel too terrible about failing you. It's a lot easier than studying.

Make A Photobook

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Photobooks are super easy to make. You can get a cheap little photobook at almost any hobby store or drugstore. Spend 20 minutes grabbing random family photos and throwing them in there. Boom! You've got a cheap present that everyone is going to think you put a lot of thought in to. Santa is a sucker for warm sentiment.

Make Grumpy Cat Happy

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Millions have tried and no one has been successful. It's almost as hard as pulling the sword out of the stone. If you're lucky enough to actually be able to do it, you will not only be immediately put at the top of Santa's Nice List. You will also get your name circled which means you get to be on the Nice List for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how many horrible things you do.

Let Someone Else Comment "First!"

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I know that you sit there hitting F5 over and over again for hours just to get the chance to say "First!" on everything on the whole internet. It's a noble cause that you are persuing, but maybe let someone else have a chance for once. Letting other take turns is one of the first things that they teach you in grade school Santa definitely notices that stuff.

Donate Your Hair

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Your parents have been trying to get you to cut your dumb hair cut off all year. Now you can finally do it, and do something nice at the same time. It's not like your hair won't grow back. If nothing else, it will finally give you a reason to wear in public all of those wigs that you own instead of just looking at yourself in the mirror.

Leave A Cookie Buffet

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Most of these are pretty last minute. This one is more like last second. If you really are so terrible that you can't bring yourself to do anything nice, then you better leave the best cookie buffet that have ever been baked for Santa. Maybe he'll get so distracted by their awesomeness that he'll accidentally pull a few presents out of his magic bag for you. It's a long shot, but you're a terrible person.

How are you going to get on Santa's Nice List? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!

Check Out 8 Holiday Specials I Want To See!

Gawd...parents are so lame, amirite? Always buyin’ the purple stuff instead of Sunny D, wearing those awful pleated khakis they’ve had since the 80’s, driving around in that über embarrassing minivan of theirs...it’s like, get a clue, amirite? They’re so clueless, they probably think you’re doing the following dorky activities RIGHT NOW. They, however, are sorely mistaken.

Gundam Style

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Ma thinks you’re in the basement doing that "Gundam Style" dance all the kids nowadays are going gaga over. That’s why she’s got a tray of Totino’s Pizza Rolls in the oven – after all, you’re gonna need more “boogie” fuel!

Work Hard, Play Hard

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Your dumb-dumb folks think you’re working hard and bettering yourself by helping to beautify your community – in reality, you’re working hard on bettering your anti-social skills by beating people with a crowbar in Grand Theft Auto.

It Ain’t Good

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Listen – your parents don't know what, you’re doing, but they know it ain't good. What’s that in your hand, young man? Your right hand! Is that...is that...bath salts? Are you on bath salts, young man? Look at me when I’m talking to you!

Reading Big Boy Books

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You’re a big kid now...as such, it would stand to reason that, when you read books, you read books without pictures. That’s what your parents assume, anyhow. But you know what assuming does, right? It makes an ass out of your parents.

Supper Time

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Meatloaf’s ready! Mommy Dearest thinks you’re washing up for supper. Little does she know your hands are teeming with germs.

Hello Grandma

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According to your mother, you’re calling your grandmother – that’s why your cell phone keeps going to voicemail. Because you finally realized no, it wouldn’t kill you to call grammy. You know she doesn't have that much time left. You know how lonely she’s been since pop-pop passed. Blah, blah, blah.

Parental Pride

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Your delusional folks think you’re out in the world making them proud – could you imagine anything more absurd? Unless screaming at random strangers via Xbox Live makes ‘em proud, the chances of you actually instilling pride in your parents is slim to none.

Kibosh on Smosh

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Your parents know you’re a good egg. That’s why they think, right now, you’re reading anything but Smosh. Good God...anything but Smosh.

It’s 10PM...do you know where your parents think you are? Let me know in the comments!

Check Out The 9 Biggest Lies Parents Tell Their Kids!

In the new show G by GUESS presents “Style Rocks”, three teams have to prove their fashion-sense dominance and rocker attitude in a series of challenges. They also must learn and perform a Cobra Starship song at the famous Key Club in LA, all while being coached by members of the band. Sounds like a good way to meet Cobra Starship AND get free pants!

But where does regular style end and style start? What can we wear on stage, and what can we wear to school? Here are some off the wall fashions that no one should try unless they are a true pop star.

Anything that looks like cotton candy

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Cotton candy is delicious, but unless you’ve had albums produced by Jay-Z, avoid sticking it on your dress and going out in public. However, if you want to wear it at home and pretend you are a cloud, I’m glad I’m not the only one.

The American Flag (on your armpit)

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America is pretty cool. No one is debating THAT. But even though we are proud of this great nation, non-pop stars shouldn’t wear our flag as a short dress. Especially you, Brian.

Flowing Red Cloaks

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Cloaks in general are a no-no for the non-famous, but giant red flowing cloaks should especially be avoided since they attract wolves and make you look like a silk tent.

Orange See-Through Lace Dress That Shows Your Underwear

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For everyday Joes like you and me, our underwear is supposed to be hidden under our jeans or shirts or jeggings. In fact, trying to peak at someone’s underbits in public is generally considered bad form. However, if you are Fergalicious, appearing at a major music event with your bra and panties is just fine, as long as you have a dress-shaped orange doily on to make it classy.

Whatever is going on here

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If an average teenager waddled into class wearing this ridiculous mess, everyone would burst out laughing. Are those penguin pants? Is he wearing PEARLS? However, if you’ve ever had Ludacris guest-rap on one of your songs, this outfit is just fine and teenage girls will continue to tweet you all day every day no matter what.

Denim Formalwear

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When you’ve attended the Grammy awards a few times, you can just wear a dress made of pants and a jacket made of pants and even a hat made of pants, and no one will think less of you or stop buying your albums. If you have a normal job, however, ONLY ONE ITEM MADE OF PANTS IS PERMITTED AT A TIME, and normally that is pants.

Muppets

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Muppets are there to teach us about reading and counting, or maybe sing a song about rainbows. But if you are pop star, you can skip all that and just go to wearing muppet corpses as a cloak.

Full Body Leopard-Print Spandex

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If you aren’t performing in front of thousands of people during your world tour, it’s best to avoid the full-body spandex look, especially in animal print. I could never wear this out. WHERE WOULD I KEEP MY KEYS?

Neon Green Onesie and Neon Makeup

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She seems nice and is probably fun at a party, but in just in general don’t take any life cues, from anyone with a $ in their name.

This

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I don’t care how famous you are, you should always avoid furry red striped boots.

Which fashion was the most ridiculous? Let us know down below!

To see very cool, wearable rocker styles check out this new series:

G by GUESS presents, “Style Rocks” HERE!

It’s our loved ones who are capable of hurting us the most, and there’s no better tangible manifestation of this concept than the Group Text. What might start as a simple, “Happy Hannukah! Miss you guys!” will inevitably end in a string of inside jokes, responses from foreign phone numbers, and pictures of someone’s engagement ring. But one cannot simply write, “Take me off the list,” for fear of insulting the integrity of each person’s well-thought-out communiqué. What, then, is a person who has a life to do? Here are some ways to get out of a group text without looking like a jerk.

Announce A Party At Your House

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If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em in person. Or at least make them think you’re wanting to join them in person. Invite the whole group to a last-minute party at your house; this time of year, they’ve probably all already got plans and/or are relieved to have a night off from holiday parties. They’ll need you to think they’re super busy doing their other thing (and can’t possibly be texting right now) or they totally would have come. Sit back and listen as the text pings start fading away like end-of-microwave popcorn pops.

Say You're In A Foreign Country

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Texting is still really expensive if you’re in a foreign country. Tell them you would love to enlighten them as to how you’re doing on your trip to Eastern Europe, but it might bankrupt everyone involved. As long as they’re okay with that… yeah, that’s what I thought. Na Zdorovie!

Suggest Everyone Move Over To GroupMe, Then Delete The App

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GroupMe is an app that allows you to hold ongoing text convos among different groupings like, “Ski Trip Peeps” and “Peep Show Peeps” and “My Peeps Who Like Peeps The Easter Thing.” It sounds like a great idea for anyone who wants to talk about how blessed they feel to have you in their life. Suggest the group moves over to GroupMe, then delete that sucker and pretend it’s technology’s fault.

Tell Them You Went Amish

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Amish people don’t use technology (or at least are super restrictive about what it can be used for), and your friends should respect your newfound religious beliefs. To help sell it, send one last pic of you wearing your choice of the above hats.

Start A Fight Via Other Text Threads

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Nothing squashes a group text like a little trash talking. Use separate individual texts to spread rumors about different people in the group thread, and smile as you successful divide and conquer. You may now have to keep up with, like, five different conversations, but at least they’ll all be relevant to your life (because they’ll be damage control)!

Commit Seppuku

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Seppuku is an ancient Japanese tradition of killing oneself in order to die with honor rather than fall at the hands of one’s enemies. It’s a simple abdomen slice. Just saying.

Or actually, you know what might be better is to turn your phone off. Yeah, that might be smarter than cutting your stomach open with a sword.

How else can you get out of a group text without looking like a jerk? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out People Robert Pattinson Should Go Out With Now!

If a film series were to suddenly gain form and breath and consciousness enough to want to live in our homes and get belly rubs it would probably be Star Wars. I mean, if we really cared about Our Pet Star Wars we would have done the right thing in the first place and had it spayed/neutered so we wouldn’t have the prequels running around. Now that Disney has adopted it, here’s hoping they treat it right.

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Which one was your favorite? And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter or I will cease to be.

Check out the best of the Drunken Baby meme!

After a few pictures of Darwin, the fashion-conscious monkey who strolled through a Toronto Ikea in a little monkey jacket and monkey diaper popped up on the internet, well, America was in love. At least, everyone in America with a Tumblr. Darwin is incredibly adorable, it can't be denied. But more inspirationally, he's very sure of himself, confident. He knows he's a MONKEY. He knows he doesn't BELONG. But do you think he cares EVEN A LITTLE BIT?

What up, society? How you is?
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But now we're learning the dark side of the Darwin story. It seems he's been taken to a local primate shelter and his owner, Yasmin Nakhuda, wants him back. So much so, in fact, that Nakhuda is considering hiring a lawyer to regain custody. And boy does it make me happy to think about what kind of lawyer would fight for the rights of a monkey from the internet.

"I'll take the case, but only to stick it to my mother who made me
quit painting to go to law school."
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All that said, Nakhuda has said she'd relinquish any claim to Darwin if she was assured he was being properly cared for. "If the sanctuary is able to convince me ... that they are doing a better job, then for sure," she said to the CBC. "Because everything has to be what's best for him."

And that's perfectly reasonable, and an indication that Yakhuda really does care for Darwin. However, if I were Nakhuda, I'd be concerned that the shelter will not put nearly as much effort into his fashion sense. I mean, how is Darwin supped to keep up with next season's designer jackets and diapers in an animal sanctuary?

He KNOWS they only got Gucci knock-offs in the damn animal sanctuary.
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Of course, it could always be worse for Nakhuda — at least she knows Darwin EXISTS. No one is telling her that Darwin was just a figment of her imagination. I mean, this situation could have very easily turned into a Julianne Moore movie.

I feel like most Julianne Moore movies are about her looking for a
son while everyone tells her never existed.
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Do you think humans should own monkeys as pets, even if they're not affable sitcom characters? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

”The Lord of the Rings” movies are some of the most beloved fantasy adventure films of all time. But with the new prequel “The Hobbit,” director Peter Jackson had a great opportunity to conquer yet another movie genre. Here’s just a sneak peek at what might have been if the characters had put down the swords and picked up a gun…or microphone…or a bouquet of roses.

Romantic Comedy

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Tagline:“Before they got the ring they had to get each other.”

Plot: Bilbo is seeking a new start. Gollum is mourning a lost love. When they meet the sparks fly…but so do the accusations. Will this unexpected journey to true romance find its happening ending or with these two be led astray by fear…and all those damn goblin tunnels?

Buddy Cop Film

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Tagline:“Meet the long—and short—arm of the law.”

Plot: One’s an old-timer who plays by the rules and is just three days away from retirement. The other’s a brash new recruit who just plays, smokes pipe-weed, and won’t even wear shoes to the precinct. But if these two quarreling cops can’t find a middle ground then Sauron will find it all too easy to take over Middle Earth.

Documentary

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Tagline:“From the filmmakers who brought you ‘Who Really Funded the Rebel Alliance?’ comes a frightening look at the reality of fantasy.”

Plot: Culled from hundreds of hours of interviews with dwarves, orcs, hobbits, talking trees, and a floating, angry eye, this documentary explores the rise and fall of Sméagol, a simple Stoorish Hobbit who became obsessed with jewelry, started referring to himself in the plural, lost both his hair and clothes…and then really went insane.

Musical

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Tagline:“They told him to think small…until he got his big break.”

Plot: Bilbo Baggins always longed for adventure but was growing short on hope. But when a band of merry dwarves come to his town and bring music into his home, Bilbo finally finds his voice…and his true calling.

Sci-Fi

Tagline:“Run, Puny Humans! Run!”

Plot: Based on a true story from an episode of “Ancient Aliens,” the movies shows how outer space helped destroy Middle Earth…and plant the genetic seeds that would result in the rise of Man.

Slasher Film

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Tagline:“Only when he became invisible did people see him for the monster he really is.”

Plot: Bilbo was powerless to get anyone to notice him. But when he slips on the ring and slips out of sight, this lonely hobbit is bloody well determined to show that big payback can come in very small packages.

Check out 5 Cute Animals That Have Killed People In Real-Life!

So if you haven't been living under a rock the past month or so then you've probably heard the devastating news that the man behind Elmo, Kevin Clash,  has been sharing his Mr. Noodle with some sex partners who may or may not have been of age when the sharing occurred. This kind of sharing is very very bad, Elmo!

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Unfortunately scandals and controversies are not new in the seemingly innocent world of kids television programming. Here's a look at 10 of the biggest kids' show scandals ever!

Pee Wee Herman FAPs

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Even though The Pee Wee Herman Show always seemed kind of aimed at adults as well as kids, it was never adult movie adult! Playing with your pee wee in public is against the law and Herman was busted for doing just that in 1986. I guess one of the prices you pay for fame, is no longer being able to fap in a seedy movie theater! 

Katy Perry's Cleavage

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How naive can Sesame Street be? You invite Katy Perry to come on your show and not expect some major boobage action accompanied by some major boobage action fall out? The Katy segment was cut, after parents everywhere were outraged to find that their freshly weened toddlers wanted back on the teet after viewing it. Or something like that.

Bob the Builder Drops The F-Bomb

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Parents were outraged, OUTRAGED I TELL YOU (I'm beginning to see a pattern here),  when the beloved builder seemed be saying 'F*cking hell!" in his 1999 Christmas special. Creators claim that he was actually saying “I don’t know. I thought this was going to be easy.” Yeah, I can see how those two phrases might be confused. The offending remark was redubbed even though he wasn't really saying anything wrong. Mmmhmm.

The Gay Teletubby

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Remember when everyone though Tinky Winky was gay? Hello? Just because you're a dude with a purse who sometimes wears a tutu doesn't mean you're gay. I'm still not sure what the above animated clip proves. But I am sure that it has thoroughly ruined many childhoods.

Dora's Sexy Makeover

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In 2009 Dora got a tween makeover and parents were not happy with Dora's Bratz-y new look. Nickelodeon and Mattel claimed Dora was just as wholesome as ever, but there were rumors that the new Dora  let Swiper go to second.  Sorry, I don't know why I went there.

Pokemon Causes Seizures!

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Pokemon has had it's share of controversy but the biggest scandal happened in 1997, when the flashing lights and strobe effects in the Pokemon episode Electric Soldier Porygon, sent 685 kids into the hospital after it aired. The episode was quickly banned. Of course we all know that the best banned episode is the one that features James taunting Misty with his big old boobies.

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Sesame Street Porn Hack

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Back in 2011, a hacker replaced all of Sesame Street's YouTube content with clips from porn flick First Anal Quest: Angelica . Although for sure educational, the offending clips were quickly removed and replaced by ones that were not brought to us by the letters XXX.

'In the Night Garden's Dirty Chinese Translation

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The Chinese government was not too pleased when the Tombliboos let fly with a string of syllables that supposedly translated in Mandarin to  "f--- your mother". Chinese children were surely scared for life after this most unreasonable demand.

Buster Visits Some Lesbian Moms

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Oh come on people!  Kids probably wouldn't even have known the women on the show were lesbians, if certain political leaders didn't make such a big friggin' deal about it. Now they all know what lesbians are and they don't understand why anyone would make a fuss about how good people choose to live their lives. So I guess it worked out in the end!

Spongebob Squarepants Burger King Commercial

According to the busy bodies, Spongebob can make kids gay, fat and dumb. Did you also know he can make you like big butts? Or I mean square butts. I can not lie. This video was really controversial. Eyeroll.

Which scandal do you find the most controversial? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out 2012 Celebrity Scandals That No One Will Be Talking About Next Year!

I don't know how you're supposed to browse the internet at work. So much of it is Not Safe For Work that it's starting to seem like the whole internet is NSFW. And in fact, it basically is. There are next to zero websites you can go to anymore without accidentally stumbling onto something NSFW. Not this one, not this one, and especially not this one. And so, since I know you have a corporate job and your browser history is beamed directly into your boss' office, here are the last ten things on the internet that are SFW—

Official website of the Jacksonville Jaguars

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Most NFL teams have scantily clad cheerleaders all over their webpage to celebrate the team and their victories. You're not going to see ANY forms of potential celebration on the website of the 2-11 Jacksonville Jaguars. The Kansas City Chiefs are also sitting at 2-11, and I was tempted to list their website as SFW too, but that team name is a little bit racist.

North Dakota's state website

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Make sure you go to NORTH Dakota's website though. South Dakota's? Nothing but tits.

Brene Brown's TED Talk on the power of vulnerability

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This is a really interesting TED Talk about the very human emotions of shame, empathy, and love. Also, it's the only TED Talk that isn't too Subversive For Work.

Tricia Goyer's Twitter

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She just seems really nice, is all.

This about.com page that teaches you how to tap dance

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Tap dancing is good, wholesome fun. Did you know that our troops were entertained by tap dancers during World War II? It's true — if your work considers tap dancing NSFW, then your work is UNAMERICAN, which is the worst thing you can be. Unless you work somewhere that isn't America. Which is possible, I guess.

The Bob Dole/ Jack Kemp 1996 campaign website

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This website, from the 1996 presidential election Senator Bob Dole would lose to President Bill Clinton, cannot be NSFW, because it went up before swear words or sex were invented.

The Wikipedia page on Wikipedia

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Most Wikipedia pages have a tendency to link to potentially explicit pages, but this Wikipedia page is so meta that you have no choice but to stop and think about it for hours on end. Although, if you're thinking about it, you're not working. Nothing is less safe for work than a webpage that keeps you from working. Maybe this isn't as SFW as I thought.

This specific Princess Diana tribute page

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This is the only Princess Diana tribute site that makes it easy to copy a ribbon so you can remember Princess Diana on your own webpage. Not remembering Princess Diana on your webpage is NSFW.

WAIT NOT THAT NORTH DAKOTA PAGE

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I just checked back and now it's, like, ALL tits. Damn it, I'm at work! That's never coming out of my browser history!

Chiquita Bananas official webpage

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I totally thought this would be a good website to go to to learn about potassium, but actually… now that I look at it… Oh God. Those look A LOT like penises. OH GOD, THEY LOOK LIKE PENISES. Well, I'm definitely getting fired for this. I'm stealing all the office's staplers.

Is the internet forever lost to those of us with jobs? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

Check out 7 Worst Ways People Try To Win Arguments On The Internet!

People can be pretty awful. Totally the worst. Some people say people are not even worth keeping around. Well I disagree. There are some great things about humans that so far monkeys and dolphins can’t do yet.

Pizza

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Pizza is the best, and only humans can make it. Even after it’s made, some other human will bring it to your house. It’s the best process for anything that humans have come up with.

Music

Some of us like acoustic guitars. Some of us like beeps composed on a laptop. Others like Glee’s cover of Sisqo’s “Thong Song.” We might not agree on what makes good music, but we all have music that speaks to us. Music that was made by a human. You just can’t compete, elephant playing drums on a smartphone.

Boobs

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Guys, boobs are pretty great, but only on a human. Have you seen a cow boob?

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Yeah, exactly. GROSS. Humans 1, cows also 1 because they make milk for cheese.

This guy

This is the best guy.

Breaking Bad

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I haven’t watched this show, but from what I heard, it’s really really good. Like REALLY good. We wouldn’t have quality pay television without people, would we? That’s right. (P.S. I’m going to start watching soon. I hear a guy throws a pizza on a roof. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?)

Love

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I haven’t had this feeling, but from what I heard, it’s really really good. Like REALLY good. We wouldn’t have quality love without people, would we? That’s right.

Nachos

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Dude… nachos.

Video Games

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I don’t know if I’ve ever had more fun than when I’ve been having fun playing video games with my friends. Even that one time a girl held my hand doesn’t compete. In a world without humans, would there still be video games? Only in a robot-apocalypse scenario.

Cats on the internet

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I’ll grant you, cats can be pretty amusing. But they also can just sit there for hours licking themselves and occasionally bringing you a mutilated bird. When cats are on the internet, however, you get only the best moments. You don’t have to own a cat for years to watch it do one funny thing. You just pull up youtube, and BAM, the funniest moment of that cat’s life.

The Internet

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People don’t understand how incredible the internet truly is. We can have best friends on the other side of the world. We can learn about almost any topic instantly. We can let people know we were the first person to see a YouTube video. The internet connects us and lets us communicate and share and laugh and like Facebook statues and watch videos and download music and even order pizza. It’s my favorite, and it was made by humans. Thanks, Al Gore!

What are YOUR reasons to still like people? Let us know in the comments below or tweet me at @carpetislava.

Check Out 24 Photos That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity!

With The Hobbit now in theaters, we're ALL pretty excited about the Lord of the Rings series again. But no one will EVER be as excited as the people who got these Lord of the Rings tattoos. These are the kind of guys who read the books in college and HAVE YET to shut up about them. And those people are the worst kind of people.

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Which was the best tattoo? Let us know in the comments below!

Check out last Taturday!

Growing up, it happens to everyone (well, everyone survives that long.) And as you grow up, you cast off many of the things you enjoyed in your youth. And if Toy Story taught us anything, other than Randy Newman’s status as being easily parodied, it’s that kids abandon their toys. Thankfully in real life toys do not have thoughts, or feeling, or hopes and dreams, so you need not feel any guilt over the situation. But not all toys get stale! Some of them remain fun, whether or not you develop a secret shame over enjoying them. Need some examples? Here are the 7 Children’s Toys That Remain Fun As An Adult:

Legos

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You get to make stuff, from scratch, and if you don’t like it you can just pull it apart and start over! It’s not like real horrible life, where you’re stuck with whatever dumb choices you make and their consequences forever. And they come with instructions, which you can feel free to follow or ignore! Oh man, if only life were more like Legos…

Board Games

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Not decidedly adult games (or, at least games for teens) like Risk or Monopoly, but the much sillier games like Mouse Trap, or The Grape Escape. Have you ever experienced the joy of murdering a claymation grape because you happened to roll the right thing while the aforementioned grape lingered in the wrong spot? Very satisfying.

Star Wars Action Figures (Classic Version)

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This is very specific to the original set of actions figures, because they bring up only very fond memories of the original trilogy in its original state. The new ones, with their overly muscular Luke Skywalker (come on, Mark Hamill has never used anything more serious than a treadmill) and the like, are so emblematic of everything that went bad with the “Special Editions” and prequels are just depressing. But the originals, man! So many memories, so few ways to pose them in battle scenes (they came out in the era of toys with around three points of articulation).

Etch-A-Sketch

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What I used as a child to draw what could charitably be called “a bunch of squiggles”, adults glommed onto and began making, real, serious portraits of people. And it feels so much more dangerous, because an etch-a-sketch is a seriously easy canvas to erase.

Easy Bake Oven

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Look, cooking is hard. I know it sounds insane to complain about the mild complexity of a basic meal, but these are insane times we live in. But an Easy Bake Oven? You bake things with a light bulb. A light bulb! Up yours, Thomas Edison, we use your inventions for whatever reason we want!

Classic NES

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While the majority of gamers are now adults, that was not always the case. The NES was seen as a (very expensive) toy for kids, but even with a couple decades gone by, it still has a vast library of incredibly fun and rewarding skill-based games that just have terrible graphics (relatively speaking; my nostalgic fondness for visible pixels shalt never die). Also, it has River City Ransom, a game that has only gotten more intentionally-hilarious as I’ve gotten older.

Bop It

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This one is really helped by alcohol, actually. If you're 21 or older of course.

How are you trying to delay the realization that you are an adult? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out Twenty Honest Names for Famous Toys!

This guy seems...disturbed by the PDA.   But I'm kind of disturbed by him! Give us a funny caption that helps explain this funny picture and if we unscientifically pick yours as the best, you could win a FREE Smosh t-shirt. They're comfy!

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If two people come up with the same caption, the first one to comment will be the winner. We will announce the winner Monday and suggestions received after 12:01 AM PST on 12/17/12 will not be considered. Good luck! 

CAN'T WAIT? You can buy a shirt HERE!

There are a lot of musicians that become famous for their iconic fashion as well as their music...say The White Stripes or Johnny Cash. Then there are those bands who try to create a look and fail miserably. Sure they create a fashion statement , but it says all the wrong things. Mainly it says ‘NOOOO!’. Here’s a look at 8 bands with terrible style.

N’Sync

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I think it’s cool to be N’Sync when you’re singing and when you’re amazing everyone with super-slick choreographed boy band moves. But there is nothing cool about being N’ Sync when it comes to wearing vinyl rain slickers on the red carpet. Especially in LA. Don’t get me started on the hair.

Bay City Rollers

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I’m all for being proud of your Scottish heritage, just not when it epitomizes everything that was awful about 70s fashion. Pretty sure the freedom to dress like a pimped out rag doll wasn’t what William Wallace so valiently fought for.

Kris Kross

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Kris Kross totally made me Jump! I love that song. They also made me do a double take with their gimmick-y wannabe fashion trend....wearing your clothes backwards. It just looks like their mommies never taught them how to dress themselves.

Poison

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Why chose one cheap tacky accessory when you can chose them all, am I right Poison? I’m kind of amazed I ever had a crush on CC DeVille. Wait, did I just say that out loud??

Insane Clown Posse

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Call me crazy, but I’m just not a fan of coats that took one thousand rattlesnake skins to make. Or clowns. We’re all pretty much terrified of clowns at this point, right? I'd also like to take this opportunity to ask Juggalos not to call me a sh*thead on Twitter, which happens everytime I make a joke about ICP. Thanks Juggalos! The next Faygo is on me!

TLC

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The ladies of TLC definitely got their act together at some point, but when they first hit the scene it was not good. It was about ten sizes too big and four colors too much. Also condoms are not meant to be worn as bling, ladies. Just sayin’!

Stryper

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Stripes are cool. I get it STRYP-er. But why would you want your band to look like a bunch of spandex-clad bumble bees? The best thing I can say about this look is that it totally pulls focus from those horrible 80s hairstyles. The worst thing I can say is bumblebee patterned junk bulges.

One Direction

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I’m not the biggest fan of adults dressing alike in general, but I’ll sometimes begrudgingly admit that the boys of 1D look kind of cute. Then I see them in matching hooded onesies and I take back evey nice thought I ever had about them.

What are some other bands with horrible stye? let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out 20 Embarrassing Boy Band Fails!

Uh-oh! The Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine is at it again. This time they've found a minor correlation between binge eating and pot smoking.

Holy crap she is going to smoke so much pot.
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The Post Gazette reported yesterday that teens and young adults who binge eat were almost twice as likely to smoke pot as teenagers without the eating disorder. An odd on switcheroo of the situation, given that usually the pot comes first, and then the binge eating follows.

Does this mean that Snoop Dogg.... gulp... is a binge eater???
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The study is really almost meaningless. All it is really saying is that people who binge eat tend to have control issues, so they're more likely to do things that people who are controlling themselves wouldn't do. Although lots of people with self control smoke pot. A corollary argument could also probably be made that people who wear sandals also tend to be laid back ass dudes. But so what?

This laid back dude is wearing sandals.... coincidence?
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The article also has the absurd, inflammatory suggestion in the title, with the word "drugs," that kids who binge eat are taking all sorts of crazy things. When really, the correlation is just pot. Which is not very scary. Since it's actually way more bad for you to eat too much pizza than it is to smoke pot.

Pizza: twice as bad as pot, but also way tastier.
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Why do you like to eat a burger with pizza slices for buns so much? Let us in the comments below!

Whenever a big mash-up fighting game comes out, there are always characters we love who are left out. For instance, did you know that somehow Marvel Vs. Capcom left out Boomerang? But when Sony's Super Smash Bros.-esque Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale was released last month, there were some glaring omissions. And now I will list said omissions! Here are the fighters who should have been in PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.

Crash Bandicoot

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Crash Bandicoot was Sony's de facto mascot throughout the 90's, a face gamers came to associate with the PlayStation brand itself. In a sense, that's like not including the thing in the thing. It's like not including Mario in Mario Kart. Like not including stars in Star Trek. Like not including baseball in baseball.

The Hell in the Cell from WWF SmackDown 2: Know Your Role

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The most time I put into a PlayStation was the Christmas vacation after WWF SmackDown 2 came out, and it was ONLY because of the Hell in a Cell mode. If you could play as the Cell in PlayStation All Stars, the circle button could shoot Mankinds at your opponent, while the Cell's finisher would be to instantly kill all of its opponents because the finish of the fight would be predetermined.

The main character from Journey

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One of the most beautiful and humane games of all-time, Journey is a hugely important part of the PlayStation's catalog. So why did it get no love in PlayStation All-Stars? I mean, I get the decision to leave a character out of a fighting game who can't, in any way, attack, but maybe the Journey guy could enjoy the experience of fighting without actually fighting? His level three special could be to sing a song that wouldn't kill the other characters, but remind them that, despite their differences, they're all human beings and are ultimately in this together. Of course, this special would only work on PlayStation All Stars' human characters like Nathan Drake and Cole McGrath. Sly Cooper would still be able to take advantage and rips the flesh from the bones of his newly-joyous human opponents.

Metal Gear REX

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While the Metal Gear series is represented in PlayStation All Stars by Raiden, I still want to play as the nuclear-equipped walking battle tank from the first Metal Gear Solid. Obviously his level three special move would be a launch, and then, after everyone and everything is gone, Solid Snake would walk on screen and speak solemnly on the consequences of nuclear war for fifty-five minutes.

Motorcycle Guy from Motorstorm

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The Motorcycle Guy from Motorstorm would have a button command that would turn him invisible, because when you're driving motorcycles are ALWAYS in your blind spot. Start SEEING motorcycles, people!

Retail copy of Gran Turismo 5

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How do you include Gran Turismo, one of the premiere PlayStation franchises, in PlayStation All Stars? I mean, you can't have an actual car in the game. So I say you just put the game itself on the roster. Can it attack? No. It is a case. Does it have any specials? It does not. It is a case. Can it even move around the stage? NO. IT IS A CASE. The only way you can win playing as Retail Copy of Gran Turismo is if another character tries to open you, because that sticker they put at the top of game cases is so hard to open that the other fighter just might kill themselves.

Who would you have liked to see in PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

Check out Pokemon Who Could Find Success In UFC!

Looking for a new pet? This year forgo the usual cat, dog, bird, or Zhu Zhu and get the one type of animal that shows you have a lot of love to give and a giant backyard for them to trample and set ablaze.

Godzilla

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Just like a new kitten, the younger Godzilla was prone to running around constantly, breaking everything, maybe hanging from particular large screen doors, and destroying Tokyo. But like a full-grown cat, Godzilla is now much friendlier, apt to attack when only provoked, and can defeat his own giant robotic twin between long naps that sometimes get interrupted by nuclear explosions. In short, if you’re thinking of getting a loving yet protective companion that can best be described as a forty-story tabby with a tendency to trip over power lines and scream until everyone in your zip code is permanently deaf, this is the pet for you.

Gamera

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While a giant, tusked flying turtle who propels himself via combustive jet engines in his hindquarters may be tough to keep in your bedroom terrarium, Gamera has always been about saving humans. (As opposed to the more whimsical-minded Godzilla, who is a little indiscriminate about where he points his atomic breath.) So whether you seek protection from school bullies’ missile attacks via his hard shell or just someone who can use his elbow spikes to make sure you always get to the front of the line, Gamera is the perfect pet for anyone who wants a monstrous Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that must be fed fire constantly or it will slip into a coma.

Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster

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Longing for several pets but wishing to minimize walks, food costs, and the hassle of coming up with more than one name? Ghidorah is indeed the three-headed, four-legged friend for you. Well, make that two legged, since he doesn’t have any arms, meaning hugs will probably be kept to a minimum and all those little balls and Ghidorah dancers you got for him to play with will have to go back into the closet. But Ghidorah makes up for his lack of affection and playtime with two tails, both of which he can use to convey excitement or inadvertently swipe all your glassware off of countertops.

King Kong

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Just like many people mistakenly believe all pit bulls are dangerous because of a few unfortunate incidents, many are afraid of accepting a King Kong into their house due to a single bad trip to Manhattan. But a Kong can be an endearing pet when raised in an environment that does not include crowds and skyscrapers but rather plenty of jungle flora and perhaps the occasional sacrifice. Plus, he has a famous eye for the ladies, which makes him the ideal companion for meeting women when inadvertently scaring the crap out of everyone at the dog park.

Sarlacc

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Like a sea monkey or a pet rock with an acid-filled stomach, the Sarlacc (most famous for consuming Boba Fett way too soon in “Return of the Jedi”), requires minimal care and never needs to be walked, petted, or approached for any reason whatsoever. Instead, he just sits there like a living pit in your backyard, slowly digesting nosy neighbors and making outdoor barbecues, a catch with your dad, or any chance your family can resell the house almost impossible. But what he lacks in cuddliness, facial features, and the ability to look cute with a Santa hat for your holiday card he makes up for by ensuring you will never, ever have to do any yard work again.

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

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Unbelievably soft and squeezable, decked out in an adorable sailor’s outfit, and often wandering through urban landscapes with his arms outstretched as if simply asking to be hugged, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man may very well be the most adorable, appealing pet on this entire list. Unfortunately, the only reason he’s alive is because he is the physical manifestation of a Sumerian demonic entity. But with a good trainer, some “time outs” for bad behavior/catastrophic destruction, and constant reminders that no one in the family is even thinking about s’mores, you can have a pet that will love you until the day he accidentally gets roasted one summer.

What movie monster would you like to have as a pet? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out 19 Kids Drawings of Monsters!

Tired of not having your photos and name utilized by a giant faceless company for marketing purposes without your permission? Well, today is your lucky day! Instagram is changing it's policies so that any users age 13 to 18 can be exploited and use in their advertising without asking for your consent!

This is Hershel Richcatowitz, the owner of Instagram. Counting the millions he will make off of your photos.
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Yes, Bloomberg is reporting that policy changes next month at Instagram will allow them to use your name, photos, text and other information for marketing purposes. So, if you put up a picture you might see it in an ad for Instagram. Technically they have already "asked for your permission" because you give it when click yes on that ridiculously long thing that no one reads when they join. So that's how they get you.

Teens! They love being exploited for marketing purposes.
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Instagram, which is owned by Facebook, is attempting to justify their big new ideas by saying that it will "help it function more efficiently as part of the Facebook network." OK, it might do that. But it also allows to get free marketing by stealing people's art work that might include images of themselves and their friends in said artwork and use it to make money. Underage people as well. People who can't fight back. And that, my friends, is some sinister sh**.

Instagram's main corporate offices.
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Facebook used to be all about being "cool," staying away from big poppa capitalism. Staying away from corporate sponsors, the stock market, etc. That all changed. Boy are they about money now. And their networks are highly compromised when it comes to privacy. There are two sides to this issue, one can certainly argue that Facebook is a public space and you shouldn't expect a right to privacy. But at the end of the day it amounts to the same reality. These companies will use what you put up, for themselves, for purposes, marketing or otherwise, that you may or may not agree with.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg shown here in heated battle with Jedi Master Obi-Wan-Kenobi.
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How come you love being taken advantage of by giant corporations so much? Let us in the comments below!