Is there anything that can bring someone more derision than an utterly misguided selfie? I mean we all do selfies. It's the easiest way to get a flattering picture of yourself taken.And clearly we're all hand-selecting an image that we find to be most flattering...duh! I don't care about that. I mean what are we supposed to do roll out of bed and take a picture of ourselves with absolutely no filters or adjustments? But there are some selfie cliches that should be avoided at all cost! Like these!
Trying To Be Sexy And Failing Miserably
You know the minute you try to be sexy, you've already failed, right? Ducklips, flexing ab pics, amateur FHM photo shoots with your neglected kids in the background, are all the opposite of sexy. Whenever I see a 'sexy' selfie I always think "That person thinks they look really hot in that pic." Then I get really depressed and feel like maybe I'm the one who doesn't know what's cool and sexy. And then I remember that I don't care. Yay!
Taking It In An Inapproprite Place
Are people always just thinking about taking pics of themselves? I seriously never think about it. Like certainly not at my Nana's funeral. Or like in a Port-a-Potty. I couldn't find one, but I guarantee you that there's a picture of a duck-faced white girl throwing out a gang sign in a Port-a-Potty somewhere on the internet. I'll find you one day poopy selfie!
Not Doing A Background Check First
Please, when taking a selfie always do a background check. No one wants to see your crazy old uncle's plumber butt or your dog humping a pool float in the background. It's really for your own good. Do you wanna take a photo like the one above where the girl's basically lying on a doodoo pillow? Funny pic lady, but for the reason you think.
Using Laptops or iPads To Take The Picture In A Mirror
Come on now, fools! Even the ironic ones are getting tired.
Selfies should only be done when you're alone. Otherwise why wouldn't you ask the person there to take the pic for you? Well, I guess if they're washing their hands you wouldn't, but that's why YOU DON'T TAKE PICS IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS! So that's another thing you should avoid. Don't spend any more time than you have to in a public restroom, people.
Selfies should appear to come about naturally. Like 'Hey I'm sitting in front of my laptop,looking kind of cute, let me snap a pic." or 'Me and my BFF are in the same room with Chris Brown, who's being a total a-hole to a waiter. Let's pretend we're taking a selfie just to get him in the background." There's nothing natural about holding a lawnmower. It is hilarious however. Just this one time, I'll accept it.
Do Anything With Old People Or Babies
Just leave old people and babies out of your desperate attempts to look appealing. It makes us think you're even jerkier than we already think you are. I just don't think memeber of 'The Greatest Generation' should be reduced to helping their granddaughter take a skanky pic.
Basically Anything That Reeks Of Desperation
So remember when Justin Bieber tried to hijack the Grammy Awards telecast by airing his competing Live Stream at the same time? And then it crashed and was just kind of a big fail? And then to make up for it he posted some topless selfies? Yeah, don't do something like that. Also Justin, stop being such a dick about not being nominated for a Grammy. I used to feel bad about making fun of him, but now that he's become kind of a jerk I don't! Yay! I'm no longer a jerk who makes fun of a nice kid! Team Selena 4EVA!
What are some selfie cliches you want to end? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!