Some of these might seem odd. But, centuries from now, they will look back and wonder why we would eat giant red sea bugs and then silently stare at a glowing wall in a room full of people in order to get laid. And then they will holoscissor.
How 'Bout Them Apples
Bavaria, where it's rumored the Sexy retreats to in order to be retrieved.
In the 19th Century Bavarian ladies would place slices of apple under their armpits and then dance the night away. When they were through they would hand them off to the men they were interested in. If it was a mutual attraction, they would then eat it.
I've made a terrible mistake.
Kreung Shack Baby
Can I holla atcha? Holla, holla holla
They may live in a remote region of Cambodia, but the Kreung tribe are very progressive when it comes to sex and love. Parents will build huts on their property where their daughter can explore her sexuality with prospective suitors. We have this too but it's called our 20s. The concept may be a little taboo for westerners with the ages of these girls sometimes going as low as 13, but the tribe allows these young women to embrace and take ownership of their sexuality without shame and and their own terms. Which is exemplary in this day and age. Incidentally, the Kreung have an almost unheard of lack of divorce so something is going right.
Movement of Dai People
The Dai people of China have many rituals to find love. One involves a suitor serenading a lucky gal who if interested will take out a small stool for him to sit on by her for the evening.
This doing anything for ya?
ItÕs kind of like speed dating but with dignity.
So, whats your name? Im Bruu...wait a second!
When I say love spoon, you obviously thought of these guys:
None of you thought of these guys.
But in Welsh and some Scandinavian traditions, crafty suitors would carve incredibly precise wood spoons to woo their lady love. They carved symbolic language; symbols that embodied loyalty and even how many kids their looking to pop out with them. Ive always been told spooning leads to forking.
My spoon is too big. Like my heart.
Speaking of forking, let me tell you about the kinktastic New England custom of Bundling. Back when the colonies were still under British rule, some parents would allow young folks who were courting to share a bed.
There is nothing hotter than direct parental eye contact.
Each person would be swaddled in their own blanket and then separated by a block of wood to prevent Hanky Pilgrim Panky. I'd like to think they had great conversations while being human burritos in heat.
Mmm burritos in heat.
I have to be honest. When I was researching rituals I read this one as filling instead of filing. And Im no stranger to filling rituals.
This is indecent.
But the actual ritual performed by some Balinese Hindu is a filing down of the canines to vanquish animal instincts like greed and jealousy to make way for adulthood. Only then can they be considered ready to marry - where sitcoms have told me no filling is done by either party ever.
Itsh oweh speshal deh!.
Any ritual you want to try out? Let us know in the comments!