As much as you’d like to think we’ve weaned ourselves off processing information aurally, there are still times when you can’t accomplish your mission without resorting to improvised dialogue. Breathe, you can do this. If it’s not about one of the following topics, you’re probably going to be okay. Here are the most annoying phone conversations you could possibly have.
Discussions Of Where To Eat
Seriously, just send me the freaking Yelp link to the place you want to go. I know you have something in mind already. Pretending we “really don’t care” where we go for dinner is incredibly inefficient, and it’s just going to result in us picking one of those lowest-common-denominator restaurants again (I see you, Make-Your-Own-Stir-Fry place).
Anything To Do With The Phone Company
The only reason to call the phone company is if your phone isn’t working or your phone bill is too high. Either way, you’re going to be agitated the entire time you’re on the line. You’re also probably borrowing someone else’s phone who is now equally agitated.
Anything To Do With The Insurance Company
Similar to those phone company convos, but with higher stakes. If you’re calling the insurance company, chances are you were in an accident, had something stolen, or just endured the trauma of learning what a deductible is. And that “Like A Good Neighbor” jingle doesn’t sound so cute when you’re hearing it on hold for a solid 45.
Pre-Blind Date Interview
Somewhere along the line, we were taught that it’s proper etiquette to hear a person’s voice before we date them. In practice, however, neither party wants to be on the phone for more than a verbal confirmation of intent to attend the outing. They probably don’t have much in common yet, and the stuff they do have in common will feel icky when shoehorned in before a restaurant decision.
I Can’t Make It To Your [Event That Is Important To You]
Ughhhhh. Facebook events made it so easy to decline an invitation, but that method seems callous if the event is really important to the host. You’re going to have to call (even those written RSVP cards aren’t okay) and explain why you can’t go to her wedding/bat mitzvah/super-sweet-17th because you might not feel like driving across town on that weekend a year from now. And you’ll hear the disappointment in her voice. And you’ll hang up and feel like a jerk. And then you’ll call back and be all just kidding, I’d LOVE to come if there’s still room.
When Someone Is On A Delay
There was a lot of competition for this slot in the Annoying Phone Convos list: interrupted service, dropped calls, “Can you hear me? I can hear you!”s, but the ultimate telephonic irritation is when someone responds to your questions an unsettling three seconds later. Was he judging you? Taking time to filter his true feelings to just tell you what you want to hear? Are we breaking up? Why is this SO AWKWARD?! Oh, you were using a Bluetooth? Yeah, yeah, that’s better. Okay, I’m outside.
What other phone conversations do you guys hate to have? Let us know in the comments!
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