At the premiere of her new movie, Katy Perry went back to her party bus with famous friends Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. They swept past Perry's bodyguards and right onto the bus so they could, presumably, talk about today's Supreme Court ruling on the individual mandate in Affordable Care Act and other matters of great import. One person who did not get to engage in the conversation, at least for a minute, was Robert Pattinson.
This must be hugely embarrassing for the guy who is
literally the face of the worst piece of popular culture in decades.
Sure, he was only barred from the bus for a minute, but this incident does tell us some thing. First, the bus' security does not know who Robert Pattinson is. And since they're not twelve year old girls, why would they? Are you suggesting that Katy Perry should hire 12 year old girls to guard her party bus? They'd just want to party on the bus with her!
This idea you had is bad all around.
But the other thing this video shows us is that now we know that Robert Pattinson wants to hang out with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez and Katy Perry. He tries to act like he's so cool, so above Twilight. But if that were true, then this is the point where he walks away. You don't get to have it both ways, Pattinson. You're either in this superficial teeny-bopper world or you're not. You're not Michael from NBC's Awake - you don't get to hop between two realities and have it all.
Any of you watch NBC's Awake? Of course not. Shame on you.
But what this scene really, really shows us is that, at the end of the day, Robert Pattinson is just like us. Look at him when he's first told he cant get on the bus - he's dejected, embarrassed. I don't say this to make fun of him, I say this as a reminder that, even though Twilight is disgusting and we all hate it and even hate Robert Patinson with his stupid sullen eyes and four-not-quite-five o'clock shadow, he's still a person and can still have his feelings hurt. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually empathizing with Robert Pattinson. I don't want him to be sad. I don't want anyone to be sad.
What do you say we go get some ice cream, huh buddy?
Do you have any sympathy for Robert Pattinson? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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