You can be anyone you want to be. That's what is so great about being a person. A new school year is upon us and it's time for a makeover. You don't seriously want to be you again this year, do you? Here are Ways To Change Your Image For The New School Year.
This is probably the easiest one on the list. Get some old t-shirts and a marker and make your own band shirts. Just make sure you make shirts of some cool old bands. No one is going to take you seriously with a homemade One Direction shirt.
You spent a summer traveling the world. It's time to brag about it. The sad truth is that traveling means staying with your grandma and the world means sitting on her couch watching black and white musicals. People will believe anything that's said by someone wearing a top hat and monocle. No one needs to the truth.
Get some silver make-up from your local costume shop and go to town. This is going to make your morning ritual about an hour longer every day, but it's worth it because you get a lot of extra benefits as a Robo-American. Free use of electrical outlets, all of the nuts and bolts you can eat, and you get to use your fancy calculator on all math tests since it will now be glued to your hand. Yo dude, you really get my sparks going when I see your chassis. No robo.
Everyone knows that fashion is cyclical. Things go out of style and then come back in full force about twenty year later. Take a cue from Kriss Kross and start wearing all of your clothes backwards. Sure, it may be hard to go to the bathroom, but it will be worth it when you're the most popular kid in school.
This new image is mainly a bully defense. When you're about to get in to a scuffle, throw a Pokeball on the ground and run away. Sure, no Pokemon is going to come out, but it will confuse the bully for just long enough so you can get away. It could backfire though, and make you the target of more bullying. Oh, well. There's always college.
Anyone can get a beret and a fake mustache and try to pretend to be French. There's two key things that you need to do to really sell this new look. The first is stop showering. I've been to France. They are a ripe people. The second is eat snails every day at school. No one will try to prove that you aren't really French. In fact, no one will talk to you at all. That's mostly because you smell so bad and won't stop grossing everyone out by eating snails.
King Of Nintendo
You are the King Of Nintendo. No mere peasant should be able to tell you what to do. Who dares to say that you can't wear your Power Glove all day at school?!?! They may be giving you a hard time, but they'll all come crawling back when your school gets overrun by Koopa Kids. YOU WILL BE THEIR SAVIOR!
Here's a thought. Why not just try to act like a normal person for once? Maybe you're not popular because you keep coming to school in ridiculous costumes. Be nice to people and maybe they'll be nice back.
How do you want to change your image for the new school year? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!