Bad news kids; you are not going to be right about everything. I know that right now, during your fits of screaming that end with you slamming at least one door (you can do two if you’re lucky enough to have a bathroom attached to your room), you know you’ll be vindicated on every single thing you’ve ever said. But you won’t. You’re wrong, and your parents are right, at least about some stuff. Here is a list of 7 Thing Your Parents Will Ultimately Be Right About:
Guys, outside of the social element of going outside, there’s a very basic reason not just sit in your house and play video games. The sun has vitamins in it, and if you don’t go out in the sun, you will get rickets. Is that what you want? Rickets? Go outside, kid!
Our culture has a bad habit of shaming people who are bigger than the so-called “norm”, but beyond the fallacies of judging people for their weight, your parents are right about the garbage you eat. Whether or not your metabolism will stop you from putting ‘em on, you will still suffer the health consequences of your terrible food choices. And by the time you start to show the consequences of eating garbage (metaphorically, garbage would actually be healthier than what some of us eat) you’re so old and set in your ways it’s incredibly difficult to change your ways.
Spending Time Talking To Each Other
Talking to your family is important! Turn off the iPads, the PS3s, the books (stupid books) and have a conversation with each other. Maybe your dumb brother actually has a good story about school (doubtful, but back me up here guys).
Turning Your Music Down
WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUE I IGNORED THE WARNINGS ABOUT WHAT LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC WOULD DO TO MY HEARING. SOMEONE HELP ME TURN ON MY COCHLEAR IMPLANT…
Your Effort Level
Try hard in school. Your parents are always saying it, and you’re always ignoring it, but you should try hard. If you don’t get into a good school, it’s hard to get a job in the upper-echelon of your field, and then it’s hard not to die in a gutter.
Being Nice To Your Elders
They might know important stuff! Like… a locker code, or… forget it, let’s move on from this one.
The End Of The World
My new mothers and fathers from my family of the high-ordained moon-buddies are totally right about the world ending in 2015. That is why we now must feast… FEAST!
WHAT SHOULD WE FEAST ON THE INFANTS WILL WEEP AS THE ENGAGE OUR SLAUGHTER. Let us know in the comments!