Kanye West is just the best. His girlfriend, Kim Kardashian, is pregnant, and the latest reports indicate that he's leaning towards naming the baby North West. Like, the cardinal direction. As in "go North West on Spring street to get out of downtown."
"Hey girl, let's name that baby the direction I'm lookin' right now."
Every website reporting on it says that Kim Kardashian wouldn't allow the baby to be called North West as her family begins ALL their names with a "K". But is that really a tradition? Is a K, like, on their family crest or something? Why do "K"s matter to the Kardashians? They're not goddamn Marvel characters.
"Hello Peter Parker! I'm Betsy Brandt! This is my piece of paper, Nigel Notesabunch."
Kanye West is someone who just goes with his GUT, you know? He does what he think is right and, clearly, doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. And while it's easy to make fun of the name "North West", I actually think that insanely high level of self-confidence would make Kanye West a great leader. In fact, I would seriously elect him to a position of power. Maybe not, like, President, but at least state senator.
Kanye's potential chief of staff.
Although, if he's to live past 40, Kanye West needs one dude whose ONLY JOB is to hang out, nod along with everything Kanye West does, but when it gets past a certain level of stupidity, just put up a hand and shake his head. Just tell him "no". Now, Kanye might whine. He might fight. He might pout. But this guy, this Gatekeeper of Ego, will earn his salary by simply holding strong. He will NOT let Kanye file a birth certificate naming his child North West. He will NOT let Kanye get on stage at award shows when he doesn't win. And he will NOT allow Kanye to build giant gold statues of himself in his front yard.
"Yo man let's get one of those but of me and also that shoots pudding out it mouth."
What other cardinal directions should Kanye West consider naming his child? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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