During our formative years as social human beings, we learned how to carry on a conversation by mimicking our parents or cooler classmates. We had plenty of time to adjust our affect, cadence, and phrasing to reflect exactly how we wanted to be perceived. Texting, however, has presented a new challenge. We’re supposed to inherently know how to communicate with others without being able to see or feel their reactions. And since it’s by definition a private exchange, we don’t even have a solid idea of how others are doing it. There’s a lot of leeway and room for personal expression in texting style, but the biggest problem seems to lie in knowing when to end a text conversation. Here are a few pointers… for all you who wished you could figure out how Sarah P. was doing it. END A TEXT CONVO:
At The Word “Haha”
If you’ve gotten the other person to say “haha,” congratulations, you got them to laugh. Or you got them to care just enough about you to make them want you to know that they think you’re marginally likeable. Quit while you’re ahead.
Once Emoticons Are In Play
Presence of emoticons or emoji indicates that your text partner is at a loss for words. His/her feelings are best expressed through a mass produced pictorial. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be; just go away.
After An Exclamation Point
“Sounds good!” “No worries!” “You bet!” and “Yay!” should all be triggers for you to put the phone down. The mere shape of an exclamation point looks like a barrier to further conversation. Unless the mark is placed after the word “Help!” in which case, you should probably inquire further as to whether or not they’re on fire.
After A Time Lapse Of More Than An Hour
If it’s been an hour since the person responded to your text, they are otherwise occupied. You sending a “?” follow-up only serves to remind him/her that you have nothing better to do than hang on his/her every word. If you need an answer, call him/her and make him/her feel like an a-hole for not responding.
Announcement Of Intended Sleep
The person is telling you that they’re wanting to wrap it up. Finish whatever vital content you needed to put out there, and wish him/her sweet dreams. Do not ask to come over.
Upon Reception Of A Dick Pic
Ummm, if you just got a dick pic, that’s a definite convo closer. No judgment here, I’m just saying you need to make a choice: run over there or delete him from your phone. Or throw it on the internet and ruin his political career.
Can you think of other times people should definitely end the text convo? Let us know in the comments!