Every day we hear aboout a new study being released that tells us how awful everything great in the world is. "A recent study provides a link between Nintendo Wii and plummeting IQs", "A new survey shows gummi bears can cause brain aneyerisms", "Studies indicate that ice cream makes adults lose their ability to empathizse with their fellow humans."
You soon-to-be cold-hearted b*stard.
And now, worst of all, we're hearing about a survey showing that violent TV shows keep children awake! Okay, so that one sort of makes sense, but one of the shows listed as violent? SpongeBob Square Pants.
GET THIS TRASH OFF MY TV.
The specifics of the survey read as such: Kids between 3 and 5 years old were split into two groups, one shown "age appropriate" shows like Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer, while the other was shown shows like Scooby Doo and SpongeBob. The ones who were shown the baby shows were less liely to have trouble falling asleep.
Wait, so kids are less likely to fall asleep watching shows they LIKE?
Listen, the only way you could call SpongeBob Square Pants too violent for anyone is if you've never watched a single SpongeBob Square Pants ever before even once in your life. That show is literally about the softest creature in existence having fun with a star. That doesn't sound like a violent cartoon, it sounds like a goddamn Lisa Frank folder.
I'm gonna have to spend an hour reading a biography on Lyndon Johnson to keep my brain from bleeding with cuteness. (source)
Do you think babies should watch SpongeBob? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out Best of the 'Inappropriate Timing Spongebob' Meme!