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6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

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We've all dreamed about being a superhero when we were little kids. I know I did. I would wish that a truck full of radioactive waste would crash in to my house or I'd find a magic amulet lodged inside a tree. It never happened. I wanted a superpower so bad that I didn't even care what power it was. Now as an adult, I've come to realize that most superpowers would actually be really inconvenient and lame if you had to deal with having them all the time. Here are superpowers that would suck to have.

 

Magnetism Manipulation

super charged magneto

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Why It Should Rule

Magneto is one of the most badass mutants in the Marvel Universe. He has total control over any metal that has magnetic properties. He can do anything from making force fields to flying to throwing tanks at you. He even pulled all of the adamantium out of Wolverine at one point. With this kind of power you'd definitely be able to rule the world.

sad magneto

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Why It Would Suck

Hard drives are magnetic and they get erased when they are around a strong magnet. That's right. If you have magnetism manipulation powers, then you can never use a computer or play a video game. What is the point of ruling the world if you can't spend your free time leisurely playing Call Of Duty while someone feeds you grapes?

 

Invulnerability

superman wlaking in to bullets

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Why It Should Rule

Invulnerability is a power that makes it so absolutely nothing can hurt you. You could walk away from the center of a nuclear explosion if you wanted to. There would be absolutely no situation that would be too dangerous for you so you'd go down as one of the greatest superheroes in history.

superman connecting railroad

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Why It Would Suck

Since nothing can hurt you then you're going to have to do a lot of incredibly dangerous stuff all the time. Whenever there is a situation where someone could get killed, they will call on you all day every day to come fix the problem. It would probably eventually get boring the hundredth time you have to save a bus full of kids from a volcano. The other thing that would suck is that everyone would constantly try to kill you. They wouldn't be successful, but it would get old about the thousandth time someone tries to stab you with a flea market katana.

 

Talking To Fish

aquaman fish army

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Why It Should Rule

People make fun of Aquaman all the time because they claim he has a useless power. I personally think it would awesome to be able to talk to fish to have them do your bidding. The earth is covered with over 70% water. That means if you had fish talking powers then you'd be the most powerful superhero on the majority of the planet.

dumb fish drawing

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Why It Would Suck

The thing about talking to fish is that fish have extremely short memories. It's kind of hard to get something to do your bidding if it can't even remember that you had a conversation five minutes ago. Fish are also scared of everything so most of your conversations will involve you explaining that you aren't there to kill and eat them.

 

X-Ray Vision

supergirl detecting fake breasts

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Why It Should Rule

Every perverted 12 year old hopes that they could somehow get X-Ray Vision. It's mostly with the intent of getting to see some naked ladies. At that age, all we know are teh bewbz r jawesome and we want to see them somehow. You could also use your powers to spot criminals through walls who have maybe broken in to a bank or whatever. The bewbz are the number one most important thing here.

naked lady xray of bones

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Why It Would Suck

First off, X-Ray vision wouldn't let you see any bewbz at all. You'd see through the bewbz and just see a bunch of skeletons running around all the time. It'd be like living a nightmarish hellscape. Secondly, you're going to give everyone you know cancer. X-Rays are legit radiation and not the good give-you-super-powers kind. It's the give-you-cancer kind of radiation. Not seeing bewbz is the number one more important thing here.

 

Super Intelligence

the leader

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Why It Should Rule

You're on Smosh so you're probably one of the smartest people you know. If you were any smarter than you are now, you'd be able to invent any technology or cure any disease. Having super intelligence would let you lead the Earth in to a golden age of enlightenment where we all fly around with jet packs on and no one has irritable bowel syndrome and everyone has video games built in the their brain.

minesweeper meme

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Why It Would Suck

Being smarter than everyone is depressing. You can feel really isolated when everyone around you is a total moron. There wouldn't be anyone worth talking to so you'll probably end up just staying at home and playing Minesweeper on expert all night. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you never actually accomplish anything.

 

Time Travel

bill and ted screen grab

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Why It Should Rule

I love history and there would be nothing more awesome than getting to go back in time and party with all of history's greatest figures. You could go horseback riding with Genghis Khan. You could stow away on the Apollo moon mission. You could even attend an orgy with Ben Franklin. He was really in to those. You could also go back in time and right some horrible wrong and change the course of humanity for the better if you really felt like it.

homer simpson destroying the past

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Why It Would Suck

Time is very sensitive and complex. You never know how your actions might accidentally change the course of human history for the worst. It could be something as simple as stepping on the wrong flower and then you come back to the future and the whole planet is over run by cyborgs. Then you have to go back and not step on the flower, but you instead you accidentally squash a fly and the unthinkable happens. Pokemon never existed. It's just way too much work to go back in time safely to even bother with it at all.

 

What other superpowers do you think would suck to have? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!

 

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