Since Japan seems to be on a mission to alienate me from their culture, the latest trend is for women to wear panties over their face. Yes, "panties" as in the undergarment, and yes, "their face" as in the front of their head.
Where are they putting their glasses? On their genitals? I hope it's not their genitals.
The trend began with the announcement of a superhero movie called Hentai Kamen. Based on a popular manga series, Hentai Kamen is a superhero whose powers are honest to god activated by wearing his sex worker mother's panties over his face.
Who is this guy's arch-enemy? Commander Basic Human Decency?
Hey, Japan? You don't have to dress like your favorite superhero in day-to-day life just because you're excited about their upcoming movie. I mean, you didn't see anyone in America dressing up as Batman and going out in every day life when we were all so excited about The Dark Knight Rises, did you?
Okay, so at least ONE GUY dressed up as Batman and went out in public.
In fairness, his parents did just die.
So here we are — girls in Japan, regular girls with regular lives, are walking around with panties on their face. So Japan, can I just talk to you for a second? Like, what are you doing? Do you want your young women to be capable of getting jobs? Because you can't get a job with panties on your face.
Unless these panty-faced women are CEOs. But even then, business is global now, Japan. Your CEOs have to deal with people from rational countries in the world all the time. There is officially no reason for this panty face thing to be going on. In fact, I'm starting to realize there is only one logical explanation to all this: The entire country of Japan is a prank being pulled on me.
Of course! It's the only way to make sense of Japan's nonstop stream of nonsense!
What do you think Japan is even UP to? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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