Spring Break is a really fun way to let loose and have fun with all of your best friends. For a lot of people, it's the first time they get to experience what true freedom feels like. Just remember that you want to have fun, and there are a ton of people that want to ruin your fun. They must be avoided at all costs. Here are the worst people to encounter during Spring Break.
The Overplanner
It's important to have some kind of plan when you go on vacation. If you don't then all of your conversations will sounds like this. "What do you want to do?" "I don't know. What do YOU want to do?" The problem with planning is that sometimes people go overboard and plan way too much. This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation. It's no fun to have to rush from one thing to the next just so you can say that you did everything and then end up more exhausted than before the vacation.
Locals
The Locals of any nice beach community pretty much hate everyone that comes to their town for Spring Break. They have good reason to. For a few weeks every year, a bunch of high school and college students swarm their town, trash the place, and then take off. The locals are going to do everything in their power to make sure you have a bad time because they don't want you to come back next year. What they don't realize is that their economy is dependent on the patronage of Spring Breakers. Suck on that, locals!
The Chicken
It's important to include all of your friends that want to go. Some people want to go, but then when they get there are too scared to have any fun. We are at an amusement park. RIDE SOME RIDES! I don't want to have to feel bad because you sit there on a bench getting sun burned while the rest of us are having a blast whipping the loop-de-loops at 50 g's. The only good thing about having this person in your group is that you have someone to hold all of your stuff.
Jersey Shore Wannabes
There are certain people that thrive off of getting in to conflicts. These people are called assholes aka Jersey Shore Wannabes. They can easily be spotted because they have bright orange skin and their hair looks like a Super Saiyan. If you get within 50 feet of them then just expect that you'll be getting in to a fist fight.
Your Parents
You're growing up and that is really hard for your parents to deal with. They just can't let go. That's why they decided to come with you on your Spring Break trip. It sucks for you, but it double sucks for all of your friends. No one wants to hang out with your parents and you definitely don't want your parents hanging around your friends. It's going to be hard to hit on your number one crush after your parents just told them that story about you pooping your pants in 6th grade.
Psycho Hillbilly Murderers
There is a reason there are so many movies about psycho hillbilly murderers that kill Spring Breakers. It's because they're real. If you encounter these hillbillies then it's probably too late for you because you've already fallen in to their trap. What I suggest is that in exchange for letting you stay alive, you offer to marry one of them. Over the next few months of planning your wedding, you have to gain their trust and make them believe that you have converted to their side. On your wedding day, take off when they stop paying attention for a minute to put a tuxedo on their pig.
The Beach Police
Spring Break is for having fun and being stupid. Just don't do something so stupid that you get arrested. Just because you're on a beach doesn't mean that laws don't apply to you. It's way more fun to watch other people getting hand cuffed than it is to get hand cuffed. The only good thing about getting arrested is now you won't have to pay for any more nights of your hotel room since you have a free place to crash.
Where are you going for Spring Break? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
