CRIMINAL! That was me, calling you what you are. A criminal. Don’t agree? Well you don’t even realize the laws you are breaking, pretty much all the time. It’s okay (kind of), people do it all the time. But which laws, you want to know? WELL HERE THEY ARE: :
Speeding
I’ll admit, if I’m driving and someone is NOT breaking this law, I honk like crazy at them and lightly tap their bumper with my own until they swerve off the road and their car bursts into flames. I am in jail, by the way.
Loitering
Did you know there is a law requiring you to essentially be in perpetual motion? That’s right, loitering is simply the act of spending too much time in one place without leaving (your own private property is exempt from this law… FOR NOW!) This law is only really ever enforced when people want unsavory types off their property, like kids hanging around in a food court for too long.
Jaywalking
I’ll admit that it pretty much took me researching this article to remember that crosswalks are a thing, and that you can get a ticket if you cross the streets without using one. It really says something about our society when we think things like “The crosswalk is all the way at the end of the street, I don’t want to walk that far just to not potentially be killed by oncoming traffic!”
Tax Fraud
Have you ever had a job where you got a tip? Well, you probably didn’t then turn around and scream “HEY TAKE MORE OF MY MONEY IN TAXES” at the IRS, and that, my friend, was you committing tax fraud. Not reporting income is against tax law, but is kind of understandable when you consider how miserable most jobs where you get tips are.
Finders Keeper
Did you know that when you find someone else’s property you’re supposed to turn it into a local government agency, wait a certain amount of time (varies from state to state) while they try to find the real owner, THEN you may keep it? It’s why searching for treasure is so popular, the statute of ownership has passed and you can feel free to keep whatever you find on that sunken boat (mostly water logged wood and bloated corpses, as it turns out…)
Copyright Infringement
You are reading this on the internet, the place with so much piracy it makes Somalia go “Man, that place has a serious piracy problem!” From music, to television, down to things as innocuous seeming as academic papers (read the depressing story of Aaron Swartz for more on that one), pretty much everything you are downloading is someone’s intellectual property, and you are technically stealing it from them.
Murder
Oh, I mean, heh, not me, but like… you know, other people… heh DON’T ARREST ME!
How’d it get burned? HOW’D IT GET BURNED HOW’D IT GET BURNED HOW’D IT GET BURNED?! Let us know in the comments!
