Teachers are human beings, too, with feelings and stomachs. As you evolve over the course of the school year, teachers are doing the same thing, in somewhat predictable patterns. It helps to get ahead of them, so you feel like you have some semblance of mental control over the people who control you for a living. Teacher traits that come out like clockwork this time of year include:
They Don’t Actually Care About The Things They Want You To Think They Care About
The same joke you made in September that got you an awkward, “Is something funny?” from the teacher now KILLS in that same English class. Your peers are allowed to laugh for a solid two minutes, and the teacher even cracks a snicker. Yeah, they don’t want to teach House On Mango Street any more than you want to read it.
They Hate Children
Don’t be fooled by that young new teacher who seemed like your best friend in September. Now’s when they start assigning boatloads of homework because she "didn't get through as much of the syllabus” as she’d have hoped. But you know it's really because the Sadie Hawkins Dance is this weekend and she doesn’t like happiness.
They No Longer Choose Clothes That Make Sense
Summers are glory days for teachers; they can work out, shop, sleep so that their decision-making skills are top-notch... but by March, they’ve undoubtedly fallen off the wagon. Don’t be alarmed if you start seeing more elastic waistbands and the same novelty socks multiple days of the week. It’s their version of senioritis.
They Think Of Time As Fleeting
It’s about now that teachers feel the need to remind you how precious little time you have left together. Soon it’ll be spring break, and then the year will just fly to a close. Too bad we won’t get to cover U.S. History beyond World War Two... WHOA. Can we just stop and live in the present? Thank you. Now back to screwing around.
They Let You Do The Fun Stuff
Telenovelas in Spanish, Broadway songs in choir, group projects in chemistry? If teachers know how to teach fun-ly, why not offer that option year-round?
They’ll Try And Become Indispensible To You So They Can Follow You To Your Next Grade
This is totally a thing. Of course, the indispensible advice they offer will not always have been solicited, but it’ll totally save the day if you let it. Ask TV.
What else is different about teachers this time of year? Let us know in the comments!