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Real 'Batman' Turns In Wanted Fugitive In England


In the late night hours, he stalks. His cape fluttering like thin clouds grey with dark rain. Waiting, his muscles tense, his hands gripping the concrete of the edge roof so hard it cracks. His fury, his desire to bury crime under the weight of its own filth, coursing through his veins. Criminals beware. He is... the Batman.

the batman
Little Known Bat Fact: His favorite Pokemon is Poliwhirl.

BBC News reports that he is no longer just a figment of our collective imagination. He is real. In England, at the Trafalgar House Police Station, a costumed crime fighter dressed in full Batman regalia brought in a KNOWN criminal to the police station, said, "I've caught this one for you," and vanished back into the night.

batman old costume
He could have picked a more intimidating Batman costume.

It's exciting to know that Batman is finally real, but what can we expect from the Batman in the future? Logic dictates that we can expect him to go through all the permutations he has been through in his storied career. So, the likely course of events from here on out for this new Batman is that he will continue to protect Trafalgar from crime for many years, random psychotics will rise in response to him and bring the city even more pain than there was before he existed, and in his old age he will become jaded with the inefficacy of his quest to stop crime and look for the root of the problem, decide that the root of the problem is the crooks in the government, murder congress, and build himself Kryptonite powered robot arms to fight Superman.

batman superman
Hopefully you've all read Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" so you can get that joke.

This is the first time someone dressed as Batman has brought in an actual captured criminal. It's pretty exciting. Will others rise up, put on 70's era Batman costumes and start exacting vigilante justice on our streets? This is almost as exciting as the time that guy dressed as Magneto went around a couple of years ago savagely murdering benevolent mutants with his magnet powers.

Here's the actual video of the incident. As you can tell, Batman's gym membership has clearly expired.

What do you plan to do when you are Batman? Let us know in the comments below!


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