While everyone is frothing at the mouth at the prospect of an entire American Idol season filled with Minaj on Mariah action, let us look back at some of the best celebrity feuds in recent memory. Remember, celebrity feuds are just like our feuds - only ours don’t get retweeted and lead to new job opportunities. But everything else.
Elton John v Madonna v Lady Gaga
What Went Down: The Madonna comparisons have been made of Gaga since she began but things really came to a glittery head when she released, "Born This Way”. Depending on your loyalties the similarity between Gaga’s "Born This Way” and decades earlier Madonna hit "Express Yourself” are either passing or blatant plagiarism. Throw in protective celebumonster Elton John who already hated the "material girl” and you have the best theme for a Pride Parade float ever.
He Said:"She's such a nightmare. Her career is over, I can tell you that."
She Said (Madonna):"You wanna know something? I love her. I love her. I do love her. Imitation is the highest form of flattery…”
She Said (Gaga):"I don’t even want to fight back because it’s more important to me to keep writing music. Because that’s really all I care about, is the music.”
Who won: Gaga, taking the high road and then taking the chord progression from, "Ray of Light”. Kidding…maybe…we’ll see.
Britney Spears v Christina Aguilera
What Went Down: Once upon a time, Britney and Christina were young, beautiful and reasonably not insane. They were also bitter rivals, or so the press releases would have you believe, for America’s hearts and…let’s go with minds? Recently they were even competing as judges on rival competition shows making the feud fresh again. Everything old is new again I guess.
She Said (Britney):"Christina Aguilera is truly talented.”
She Said (Christina):"I just think at this point in the game it's extremely important to be supportive of fellow artists and especially females who get pitted against each other and torn apart."
Who won: People who like perpetuating the female "catfight” myth (where women can’t be supportive of one another in similar fields) for money and/or publicity. Me-ow!
Eminem v Mariah Carey
What Went Down: Here’s a handy and informative timeline of the events.
He Said:"Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" also, pt.1 of like 10 tracks on the subject
She Said: "I hung out with him, I spoke to him on the phone. I think I was probably with him a total of four times. And I don't consider that dating somebody."
Who won: Neither? Both? Nick Cannon? It hurts when someone you’re clearly very into doesn’t even acknowledge there was ever anything there to be into. But, c’mon man, this is like Taylor Swift with a potty mouth. Mariah isn’t much better to keep stoking the flames with her digs at Em in her own work. At least this whole sh$%storm made Nick Cannon appear gallant.
Taylor Swift v Kanye West
What Went Down: Speaking of TayTay, who can forget the micnapping heard round the world? Well, if you did here it is again (and good luck with that head injury).
He Said: "Yo, Taylor. I’m really happy for you, I’mm let you bla blab la bla yackity smackity”.
She Said:"Boys are mean…wait that sounds like a great song”.
Who won: MTV VMA’s and the publicity wizards who came up with this historic troll.
Kings of Leon v Glee
What Went Down: Glee creator Ryan Murphy wanted to use a Kings of Leon song on the show. The band said no. It got ugly from there.
He Said: "They’re self-centered a(-)holes and they missed the big picture. They missed that a 7-year-old kid can see someone close to their age singing a Kings of Leon song, which will maybe make them want to join a glee club or pick up a musical instrument.”
He Said (Nathan Followill):"Dear Ryan Murphy, let it go. See a therapist, get a manicure, buy a new bra. Zip your lip and focus on educating 7yr olds how to say a(-)hole.”
Who won: Tie. Both men have since apologized; Murphy for the creative dispute and Followill for the vaguely homophobic comments. Neither party took any substantial hit and make more money than I will ever see in my lifetime.
Courtney Love v Dave Grohl
What Went Down: Oy. Where to begin. Former Nirvana drummer Grohl and Kurt Cobain’s widow Love have feuded legally and creatively over the legacy of the band since Cobain’s suicide. Recently Love accused Grohl of hooking up with her daughter Frances Bean. Also drugs are a hell of a drug.
He Said:"There are a lot of people that I've been angry with in my life, but the one that's most noted is Courtney. So it's pretty obvious to me that those correlations are gonna pop up every now and again."
She Said:"Dave’s a piece of sh$* but he’s a good drummer. You can quote me on that.”
Who won: Kurt.
Chris Brown v Drake
What Went Down: Allegedly Chris Brown sent Drake a bottle of champagne at a club and Drake, not having it, sent him back a note about sleeping with Rihanna. Then all hell broke loose with both entourages sustaining casualties.
He Said (Drake): ALLEGEDLY " I’m $%^&*#@ the love of your life, deal with it.”
He Said (Brown):"A lot of people wanna know about the whole situation with me, Drake and Meek Mill. At the end of the day, I’m me, they’re them. They rap, I sing. Totally different caliber…” Read more: http://globalgrind.com/style/chris-brown-big-sean-xxl-cover-interview-photos#ixzz2J8oyaatJ
Who won: Neither. Criminal charges were mostly dropped but it certainly didn’t do either any favors.
Kim Kardashian v Jon Hamm
What Went Down: Actor and purveyor of fine meat Jon Hamm hammered Kim K a new one for no explicable reason other than zeitgeisty annoyance.
He Said:"Whether it's Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being an idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly."
She Said:"We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, 'stupid,' is in my opinion careless.”
Who won: Both win because they reportedly patched things over on the set of 30 Rock. But really, we all lose because Jon Hamm was preaching gospel.
Lindsay Lohan v Hilary Duff
What Went Down: In the early 2000s Lohan and Duff were poised in romantic battle for the heart of one Aaron Carter (or so gossip would have you believe). Duff claimed it was all Lindsay while Lindsay was busy filling the void within her with whatever was lying around.
Which was the most epic feud? Any we missed? Let us known in the comments!
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