I don’t need to remind you, but bullying is a big deal right now you guys. For the TV tells me so! If only real life bullies were more like movie bullies. Sure they both have deep unquenchable sadness in their souls that can only be lessened through cruelty. But then they’d all get their entertaining comeuppance in under 2 hours while learning valuable lessons about, I don’t know, magical snowflake children needing more love or something. Point is. Wait, I forgot what the point is. Whatever, listen up Turd Burglars! Read this list or else!
10. Rodrick Heffley, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid
From what little I know about Diary of a Wimpy Kid the comic, I’m fairly sure Rodrick wasn’t supposed to be such a little babelette (shoot, here come the sirens). But, for the bully that came from inside the Heffley house, Rodrick is an older brother to be feared as much as laughed at.
9. Gaston, Beauty And The Beast
Gaston is the overcompensating Hummer owner of the cartoon world. If he were in any way literate, he would have The Game earmarked and underlined within an inch of its life. Little does he know if he only abducted Belle and gave her, if not a library maybe a magazine subscription (?), it would be happily ever after.
8. Heather Chandler, Heathers
The Queen Bee of all high school film bitches, before Mean Girls had a training bra to fill. As Heather #1 she set the tone for all the carnage to follow.
7. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
I’m fairly sure if I quoted from the good Sergeant I would lose my job here at Smosh. Let’s just say, he’s a bully possessing a way with words so demented you would pay him to insult you for your birthday.
6. Nancy, The Craft
Poor Nancy. All she wanted was the power of the universe and a little perv free attention. The movie that launched a thousand would-be high school wiccans and sleepover “light as a feather attempts” will always be Nancy’s show.
5. Johnny Lawrence, The Karate Kid
Everyone’s favorite karate child soldier of dojo Cobra Kai. Do you think JK Rowling was a big Karate Kid fan or is the Draconess just accidental? HAVE I SAID TOO MUCH?
4. Sid, Toy Story
Ah yes, the serial killer in training next door. Sid is what I imagine Dexter was like as a kid. Except his dark passenger rides a Huffy.
3. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Series
I think a lot out there just love to love Draco Malfoy. Maybe it’s all the slash fiction with him “nuzzling” Harry. Or maybe it’s because a lot of the series is about the redemption of Draco’s soul. Either way, I think we can all agree Draco is one of the most ineffective bullies of all time. What with his nearly constant embarrassments when tangling with the Potter crew. Unless sniveling does more damage than making him look like he smelled a wet fart.
2. Regina George, Mean Girls
“She’s fabulous, but she’s evil”. By counting the rings around Lindsay Lohan’s eyes, I can tell you we’re far enough from Mean Girls to declare it a classic. And Rachel McAdam’s Regina is a huge reason why. The devil wears peroxide.
1. Biff Tannen, Back To The Future Trilogy
The man, the myth, the Biff. Biff Tannen is the archetypal bully: big, threatening, deeply insecure and just karmically dumb enough to warrant being embarrassed in every generation.
After you dry off from that swirly, who is the bully you love to hate? Any we missed? Let me know in the comments!
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