Outside of Brooklyn and satellite Brooklyns (Portland, Austin, parts of Los Angeles, PitchforkViceMcSweenLandia) there doesn’t seem to be a lot of room for instruments except the usual suspects and samples (another guitar? BARF!). And that’s one of them crying shames because there’s a lot of bitchin’ instruments and sounds prime to break free of their hipster cage. My hipster cage for the record is made out of vinyl, moustaches, the bones of hipster Ariel and a fixie bike. Surprisingly well insulated considering.
Moog
Muse probably uses Moogs but what if Taylor Swift Mooged it up? No, wait, Moog would probably break her heart and I’m not ready to hear her unicorn sparkled takedown. Why you gotta be so, Moog?
Kazoo
When I die I want an all kazoo salute, fireworks and to be buried with Ryan Gosling. As is tradition.
Theremin
You just know if Gandalf stopped smoking the pipeweed for one second and got his life together he’d rock the theremin in his mostly dwarf band, “Thorin Oakenshield and the Lonely Mountains”.
Ehru
The first band to employ a thrashing Chinese instrument the ehru to their line-up wins. What do they win? Joy. Tattooed on their lower back, in pig latin.
Glass Harp
I once walked in on my dad playing the glass harp at 10am on a weekday and crying. Only he wasn’t making music. And the glass harp was a stack of beer cans. And it was actually me.
Glockenspiel
“Hey baby, I play lead glockenspiel. Want to get out of here and pound some delicate strips of perfectly aligned metal?” Works every time.
Corgis
Cutest. Tour. EVER. Interestingly enough, they would not be the first to have, “belly rubs” included in their rider. That would be DMX.
Tap Dancer Percussion
Why more bands don’t employ spunky hot ladies to bounce around and make percussion with their feet is a question for the ages (hetero males aged 18-death that is).
Which instrument do you want to hear used more? Any you would pay not to hear? Let me know in the comments!
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