99.99% of stars that try their hand at singing do so completely out of vanity – that’s why 99.99% of them suck big time. (Yeah, that’s right...I SAID IT. Wanna make something of it?!) Not all warbling celebs are terrible, though. Some are, well, downright...good. (NOTE: By “good,” I mean, “comparatively good,” and by “comparatively good,” I mean, “mediocre.” But it’s like my momma always used to say...“Bein’ mediocre is better than sucking big time!”)
Robert Downey Jr.
His 2004 jazz/folk album “The Futurist” got pretty good reviews. Downey has a gravelly, Tom Waits-esque voice, and can play piano rather well. Ah, who am I kidding? I only put him on this list ‘cause he’s super hot. And he’s Iron Man, for God’s sakes! HE CAN DO NO WRONG.
Taylor Momsen
Taylor (or T-Moms, as I like to call her) is the lead singer and rhythm guitar player for The Pretty Reckless, a rock band that's pretty good at, y'know, rocking. Her deep, smoky voice and darkly sexy aesthetic is evocative of rock babes of yore like Lita Ford and Joan Jett (schwing!). Her band’s songs have been featured in TV shows (“Gossip Girl,” duh) and movies (the end credits of “Kick-Ass”), and they’ve toured with Evanescence and Marilyn Manson. If you like Hot Topic and hate your parents, chances are you’ll love The Pretty Reckless.
Zooey Deschanel
Zooey (or Z-Dabs, as I like to call her) has a unique, charming, childlike voice that’s utilized well in the popular alt-country duo She & Him. Z-Dabs and her musical partner, folkster M. Ward, have released three albums, one of which is all about the joys of Christmas. Quirky, right?!? PLUS, they were nominated for a Grammy! That’s hella legit! AND DOUBLE PLUS, she sang in a cotton ad! That’s hella legit-er! The touch..the feel...
Toni Collette
Toni, an Australian actress best known for her roles in “Little Miss Sunshine” and “The United States of Tara,” has performed (in a signing capacity) on Broadway, and her album "Beautiful Awkward Pictures” has a 4.7 out of 5 rating on Amazon.com. (HOT DAMN! THAT’S GOOD!) A 2006 Down Under tour with her band Toni Collette and the Finish completely sold out – them Aussies just can’t stop blasting her sick adult contemporary jams in their Priuses.
Jada Pinkett Smith
After being “discovered” by Sharon Osborne, Jada’s heavy metal band Wicked Wisdom played the second stage at Ozzfest – people were initially pissed about it, assuming Pinkett didn’t have the chops, but changed their tune (Heh. Get it? Tune?) after seeing the band shred live. They later went on to tour with Sevendust. Even if they were the worst band on Earth, they wouldn’t be worse than “Big Willie Style.”
Katey Sagal
Peg Bundy herself actually started in entertainment as a singer/songwriter. She worked as a backing vocalist for artists like Bob Dylan, Bette Midler, Kiss's Gene Simmons, and Olivia Newton John before making it big on the teevee [sic]. She's released two albums, both of which were well reviewed. And she sings pretty sweet covers on “Sons of Anarchy”.
Wayne Brady
Wayne (or W-Babs, as I like to call him) has sung in “Chicago”...on Broadway! His smooth collection of R&B jams, 2008’s “A Long Time Coming,” is a combination of self-penned tracks and covers like a slow-jam version of “Can’t Buy Me Love.” He specializes in (and excels at) making the kinda music your parents would “get freaky to” after drinking half a bottle of white zinfandel and watching “Love Actually”. (Allow me to formally apologize for putting that last visual in your head.)
What’s your favorite Bruce Willis album – “The Return of Bruno,” or “If It Don't Kill You, It Just Makes You Stronger”? Let me know in the comments!
