I was a young child once, and I had no concept of what was and was not humanly possible. That led to me coming up with all sorts of insane career plans, none of which I wanted more desperately than to be a robot. This was most likely because of my deep love of both Transformers and Robotech. I like Robots that become other robots, that’s not a crime! But now that I’m older, I’ve realized that, not only are such things impossible, but there’s also no guarantee that you would get to transform into something good. And with my luck, here are The Things I Would Probably Be Stuck Turning Into If I Were A Transformer:
I just know all the other Transformers wouldn’t take me into battle, instead just using me to keep their soda cold. Robots don’t even drink soda! They’re just being cruel
This would be annoying, not only because you’d probably end up having to play a lot of terrible movies (Transformers are huge fans of the Transformers film series), but also because you are rapidly becoming an obsolete technology. Why do you think the Decepticon who turns into an 8-track player never gets any screen time?
Sure, you’d be a car. But you would be stuck as the ugliest car ever known to man. Also, your transmission would crap out around eighty thousand miles.
There’s a reason they changed Megatron from a gun into a cannon on the original cartoon series. Who wants to transform into something that has to be manually operated by someone else? Especially when everyone already has what you turn into. It always seemed like Starscream would shoot people with Megatron as a favor to Megatron, not out of any sense of usefulness.
I don’t recall too many robotic naval battles, let alone battles that required the towing of barges. Also, you’d probably end up looking way too hefty when you were in robot mode.
”Heal-o-tron! Transform, and wrap yourself around Shia LaBeouf’s boo-boo.” All the other Transformers laugh and high five, you slowly die inside.
Anything With Testicles
Did you guys see the second movie? I’m pretty sure you did, because it made almost all the money on Earth. Remember the senile old robot, who’s in the airforce museum, and for some reason has big, metal testicles? That is literally the worst thing you could be on Earth.
Just how bad do you think those movies are? Let us know in the comments!