Sure we have 'It's Complicated' but that's just a little too all-encompassing for my taste. I think we need to know exactly what's so complicated. I also think I should be in charge of labeling your relationships, because I have a feeling most people don't know what the hell they're doing. I don't either but for some reason I'm able to see in others what I don't see in myself. Here's 6 more relationship status options I think Facebook needs to pony up.
In A Fictional Relationship Because It's The Only Way I'll Ever Be In A Relationship
This is for those that like to be married to their BFF....awwww so not cute! And for all the people who are in fictional relationships with Bieber, Kate Upton and Niall. So basically for tweener girls and dudes who own stock in gym socks and hand lotion.
In A Relationship With Someone All My Friends Hate
I think we all have a friend with a scumbag mate. They'll come around one day we hope. All of Rihanna's friends just said 'Girl, you got that right!' Rihanna needs an 'In a Relationship With Someone the World Hates (except his dumbass fans)' option.
In An On Again/Off Again Relationship
The on again/off again is a total emotional drain. Just be careful when they break up the first time not to finally admit how relieved you are. Because when they get back together, and they will, it is super awkward. I know from experience as someone with a big ass mouth that can't keep her opinions to herself. One day my ex-friend will know that I was right. That will be a sweet, sweet victory for me and totally worth the loss of a great friendship.
In A Relationship That's Superior To Yours
Eff these people am I right? They make me hate love. The best part of those relationships is when you see that 'so and so is now single' update come on your feed. When these people break up I always want to post this on their wall:
But I don't because I'm only an a-hole in my head.
In A Relationship Where We're Taking Things Too Fast
This is for every girl who's like a Taylor Swift without the money and fame. Oh yeah and instead of moving too fast with a famous dude, you're planning future baby names with a guy you met a week ago, who already has two kids and works as a busboy at Chili's. And yet somehow it's still not as sad as when Taylor Swift does it.
In The Friendzone
Let's just make it official...amirite? Like not the official they want, but the best they'll ever get. So change that status and get that crying shoulder back to work! And while you're at it do something about those calluses on your BFF's feet. She's got a date later this week.
What relationship status would you like to see added? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!