When fleshing out the world of a television show, music is a great shorthand to a character’s personality. And to make sure that personality isn’t too expensive, fictional bands are created to emulate bands the viewer can recognize. Sometimes they bleed into our world with disastrous results – looking at you Uncle Jesse Stamos. And some we just wish would. Here are the ten fictional bands we’d listen to on our soon to be outdated listening devices if we could.
The Beets, Doug
I wonder if they ever caught Killer Tofu, last whereabouts somewhere around Portland, Oregon. You don’t suppose he has anything to do with this guy?
Drive Shaft, Lost
Drive Shaft and their one very Oasis, very catchy hit, “You All Everybody” could have had a Billboard shelf life if not for the fact that it was dead the whole time.
Frozen Embryos/Residue, My So Called Life
Here’s Jordan Catalano doing his best Layne Staley in a song about SPOILER ALERT his freaking car. His CAR! Angela Chase would do better to get into, I don’t know, jazz or something.
Mystik Spiral, Daria
I entirely blame Trent and Mystik Spiral for conditioning me to crush on boys in horrible, horrible bands. But, years later, stick a guitar on a skinny boy with tattoos and a dream and I’ll work the merch table before you can say, “Sick, Sad, World”.
Dingoes Ate My Baby, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Dingoes are unique on this list in that they were mostly comprised of a very real band, Four Star Mary. But some say their souls still live in the Bronze and if you watch on Netflix instant you can still hear their mournful, emo cries.
Timmy And The Lords Of The Underworld, South Park
Punk Rock died when the first kid said, “Punks not dead”. And then Timmy came along, raised Punk from the dead, made it turn around and shovel dirt back into its grave and then plant bulbs for the spring. PUNK ROCK BOTANY! TIMMY!
Dr. Teeth And The Electric Mayhem, The Muppet Show
I keep waiting for the reunion tour to be announced or for them to headline Coachella and every year I’m so disappointed. Someone needs to get their hand out of their a$$ and make this happen.
Josie And The Pussycats, Josie And The Pussycats
Truth be told I’ve never seen any of the Pussycat’s groovy capers but they sound retro and fun.
But, I used to love the hell out of the movie version with songs by Letters to Cleo. Free Rachel Leigh Cook!
Dethklock, Metalocalypse
How come most metal sounds like Cookie Monster went to town on some Bath Salt Ginger Snaps and then ate a karaoke machine?
Dr. Fünke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution, Arrested Development
I don’t know why they never blue up. Badum-bum-chhh! Thank you, thank you, follow my twitter, tip your Smoshtress, I’m out.
Which band do you think would make it in the real world? Let me know in the comments!
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