Everybody hates homework. Even people who like learning. So it’s natural that as a society we’ve learned some coping mechanisms to help alleviate the anguish of nightly not-fun tasks. Here are some pre-homework rituals everybody does.
Combing Facebook For Fellow Sufferers
Sucky assignments can make you feel crazy. Six Calc problem sets in one night? Our cortices weren’t built for such nonsense! So you search Facebook for people complaining about the same assignment, hoping to validate your distress. Not only does misery love company, but maybe someone else will have offered a link to the answer key in the comments!
Refreshing Your Email For The Zillionth Time
Clicking the “reload” button on your email homepage serves to remind yourself that, though life may suck at the moment, someone loves you (even if it’s Lady Groupon herself). I think I remember reading something in psych class about how intermittent rewards (i.e. “you have 1 unread message”) make you work harder than a predictable stream. But then again, I probably was procrastinating so long that I had to skim the chapter, so, uh, no promises on the accuracy of that sentence.
GChatting Someone You’re Supposed To Be Getting Over
As long as you’re doing things you’re not supposed to be doing, why not be really bad? Pre-homework procrastination time provides the perfect venue for you to IM that dude who’s just not that into you. Waiting to see if he responds in a timely manner and in complete sentences (he won’t) is unfortunately way more fun than starting on some reading that will broaden your perspective on what you deserve out of life.
YouTube Spiral To The Weird Stuff
It begins with a friend emailing you a link to a five-minute video on what Mariah Carey said about Nicki Minaj, after which you’re like, this side bar looks fun! More diva! Ultimately you’ll discover some great new artists, great new drag artists, and what an alternate spelling of Nicki’s last name means to three French people.
Reading Smosh! And Other Internet
You’ve gotta have your Smosh before you get down to business. It’s a great source for learning about the world and the way our youth perceives it. But then you also gotta have your friends’ Tumblrs and celeb Twitter accounts and your multi-page magazine articles that won’t let you rest until you’ve gotten to the end. By the time you get down to The Odyssey, your eyes have called it quits for the night.
Exaggerating Basic Human Needs
When you have work to do, your bladder shrinks, your appetite becomes insatiable, and you become more tired than you have ever been in your whole life. You convince your body that you’re in some version of The Hunger Games, and your physical needs must be met before you do anything else. Go ahead, treat yo’self until there’s no more toilet paper.
What other pre-homework rituals do you guys have? Let us know in the comments!
