People can be pretty awful. Totally the worst. Some people say people are not even worth keeping around. Well I disagree. There are some great things about humans that so far monkeys and dolphins can’t do yet.
Pizza is the best, and only humans can make it. Even after it’s made, some other human will bring it to your house. It’s the best process for anything that humans have come up with.
Some of us like acoustic guitars. Some of us like beeps composed on a laptop. Others like Glee’s cover of Sisqo’s “Thong Song.” We might not agree on what makes good music, but we all have music that speaks to us. Music that was made by a human. You just can’t compete, elephant playing drums on a smartphone.
Guys, boobs are pretty great, but only on a human. Have you seen a cow boob?
Yeah, exactly. GROSS. Humans 1, cows also 1 because they make milk for cheese.
This is the best guy.
I haven’t watched this show, but from what I heard, it’s really really good. Like REALLY good. We wouldn’t have quality pay television without people, would we? That’s right. (P.S. I’m going to start watching soon. I hear a guy throws a pizza on a roof. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?)
I haven’t had this feeling, but from what I heard, it’s really really good. Like REALLY good. We wouldn’t have quality love without people, would we? That’s right.
I don’t know if I’ve ever had more fun than when I’ve been having fun playing video games with my friends. Even that one time a girl held my hand doesn’t compete. In a world without humans, would there still be video games? Only in a robot-apocalypse scenario.
Cats on the internet
I’ll grant you, cats can be pretty amusing. But they also can just sit there for hours licking themselves and occasionally bringing you a mutilated bird. When cats are on the internet, however, you get only the best moments. You don’t have to own a cat for years to watch it do one funny thing. You just pull up youtube, and BAM, the funniest moment of that cat’s life.
People don’t understand how incredible the internet truly is. We can have best friends on the other side of the world. We can learn about almost any topic instantly. We can let people know we were the first person to see a YouTube video. The internet connects us and lets us communicate and share and laugh and like Facebook statues and watch videos and download music and even order pizza. It’s my favorite, and it was made by humans. Thanks, Al Gore!
What are YOUR reasons to still like people? Let us know in the comments below or tweet me at @carpetislava.