This year's People's Sexiest Man Alive really went to Channing Tiberius Tatum? We could be the better People and stand back and say, “to each their own” or “sexy is in the pants of the beholder”. but it would be a lie. No amount of charm, and he possesses quite a bit, can take away the young Shrekness of Channing Tatum.
For the sake of teen lockers everywhere, allow us to take you on a journey through sexy man country. Maybe you’ll learn a little about yourselves. Maybe you’ll learn a little too much about us. But damnit if we all wont have a good excuse to not do what we should be doing right now.
For my taste, 1-10 of this list could very well just be Ryan Gosling, but it’s been done already. What’s it going to take People? He’s already saved a woman’s life and melted the panties of the internet!
Joseph Gordon Levitt
Joseph Gordon Levitt is so good looking that even under prosthetics to look like the giant foreskin that is Bruce Willis he’s still good looking.
If we had to outsource our Peter Parker to the Brits I’m glad it was Garfield. The world is sadly not read for a Robbie Coltrane Spider Man.
Talent and an open mind, Ocean take me away!
There’s a reason he’s seemingly the only one getting action on The Walking Dead. I mean, I don’t know what the zombies get into when they’re on their own time, but I’m sure the internet would tell you if you google with the Safe Search off.
Chris and Liam Hemsworth
I heard Australia made their mother’s lady parts a national landmark. It’s right under the Sydney Opera House as the most visited. Papa Hemsworth is a lucky man.
The once and always Finnick O’Dair of my heart.
Ezra Miller is that guy who brings bongos to class and stops bathing because “corporate America tells you to smell a certain way” and can quote Thomas Pynchon verbatim. Aka every boy I had a crush on from high school to college.
Even if I didn’t miss Community, Childish Gambino is geek sexy at it’s finest.
I mean, come on. His name is two letter’s shy of an anagram for, “Pretty fela.” It’s almost unfair.
Who would make your list? Let me know in haiku form on Twitter or leave a comment below!