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Very Best Of FML - Boyfriend Edition


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TAre we ready to admit yet that most men are basically children? That they try sometimes to do right, but most of the time, they just make your life all kinds of F'ed? Don't believe me? HERE ARE SOME CONCRETE EXAMPLES—


I like velociraptors the best!

making dinosaur sounds

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML







I noticed something on your Facebook...

bad duckfaceToday, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML








Like babies do

screaming on megaphoneToday, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML








And initial here...

signing contract

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML







They're so full of love!

adorable baby kittenToday, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML








I hope he winked, too

woman with no makeupToday, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML







Time to update that calendar

romantic dinnerToday, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML







Never a bad idea

plate of bacon

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML









fist pump awesome

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML








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