When most people think of Superheroes, they conjure images in their mind of might caped crusader taking down evil doers to save innocent people. They are seen as infallable demi-gods that must be looked up to and respected for the power they hold and how they choose to wield it. Superheroes are just people and not everyone of them should be seen as a model of how to live your life. Here are superheroes that are bad role models.
Iron Man
It's illegal to drive a car or fly an airplane while drunk. Tony Stark flew his Iron Man suit drunk and almost killed someone and they made him the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D. That doesn't seem very fair. He should have been thrown in jail like most of my friends.
Orgazmo
Orgazmo is a superhero created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park. His main weapon is a gun that forces anyone it shoots to, uh, uh, "reach satisfaction." I don't care how just the cause or what crime the person committed. That's just not something you shoudl ever do to another person without their consent. Leave that to Howard The Duck.
Hit Girl
Hit Girl showed us that even if you're a little kid, you can still kick ass. She kicks a little bit too much ass though. I know that I'm really glad that Hit Girl wasn't in my graduating class. I would probably have several fewer fingers than I do now.
Batman
Batman really needs to learn how to deal with grief. A lot of people lose their parents. It's a terrible thing, but I don't think that justifies going around beating up poor people for the rest of your life. Maybe instead sending all of these uninsured people to the hospital, Bruce Wayne should try to figure out what the root cause of all of the crime in Gotham is and change the community for the better. Building a new rec center is going to do a lot more for a kid than beating his dad up.
Speedy
Speedy had a heroin problem. You would expect someone named Speedy to be more in to uppers than downers, but addition is a dangerous and complicated thing. The comics where Speedy became an addict and then eventually recovered were highly praised for showing kids the horrors of drug addiction. The thing about it though is that Speedy never had any real lasting effects from being on the junk other than losing the friendship of Green Arrow. He pretty much just went right back to being a super hero. He is a master marksman with an arrow. I'm pretty sure that being a heroin junkie is going to make your hand a little less steady.
Flatman
To be fair, you shouldn't expect much out of a member of the Great Lake Avengers. They were a team so terrible that the actual Avengers made them change their name. Flatman doesn't reall have much going for him. He claims to be a doctor, but that's a lie. The only real accomplishment he's ever had in his career as a superhero is winning a big purse in a poker tournament. Not exactly the kind of guy that would make his mother proud. Unless his mother was a casino floozy.
The Punisher
Most superheroes have some sort of moral code. Not the Punisher. He kills absolutely everything in his path without mercy. One time in a comic, I'd like to see The Punisher solve a crime by just talking to them. Of course, after talking to them, he would probably still blow them up with a rocket.
Arm Fall Off Boy
I'm tired of hearing on the news about kids ripping off their own arms and beating people up with them. It just has to stop. The only way to stop it is to ban Arm Fall Off Boy from all forms of media! No child should ever emulate what he does. If we work really hard, we can overcome this problem that is plaguing the youth of the world.
Which superhero is the worst role model? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
