Just last week, YouTube account Beard Card posted a video shot in Utah's Provo Canyon that finally, after years of speculation, conspirtacy theories, and commercials for beef jerky, conclusively (sort of) and definitely (not definitively) proves the existence of Bigfoot:
We got you you son of a bitch.
Everything seemed normal at first and then it's like BAM Bigfoot! As you could see, the subject of the video appears, at first, to be a black bear in the middle of the forest. Nothing weird about that, right? But then all of a sudden that fool stands RIGHT THE F*CK UP and takes the silhouette of a MAN. And I'm sitting here watching it like "HOLD UP. What are you tryin' to pull, bear? Ain't you know you got the straight up silhouette of a MAN?!"
The resemblance is uncanny.
The video's been viewed over 5 million times since it was posted on October 30th, meaning it must be true. That's how it works — when enough people see something, it becomes ubiquitous. Conventional wisdom. This video proves the existence of Bigfoot the same way the box office gross proves Episode I is the best Star Wars movine.
Did you know that? That Episode I is the top grossing Star Wars movie?
I literally feel so angry right now I don't think I should drive.
So there you have it. Pretty much kind of definitive proof that Bigfoot is out there. Do you FINALLY believe? Is this enough for you? Honestly, at this point, if you don't believe in Bigfoot, I don't know what to even say to you. What DO you believe in? To me it's so cleart now that Bigfoot exists that if you don't believe it, I must question whether you believe ANYTHING exists. Do you believe in RADIO WAVES? In EXPENSIVE WATCHES? In MOVIE POSTERS?
How about DOGS? Do you believe in DOGS?
What are you going to do when the world is overrun with Bigfoots? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out Man Dies Trying to Make You Believe in Bigfoot!