You only live once! And if you’re anything like the rest of us, you’ll waste the majority of your too-brief life on mundane, non-productive tasks. Even extreme sports aficionados who live ON THE EDGE aren’t immune from time sucks like sleeping, eating and driving. Have you ever actually sat down and thought about how many minutes, hours and days you’ve wasted over your lifetime? If not, dig this. SPOILER ALERT: It’s truly terrifying.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, watches TV, even those idiots with “Kill Your TV” bumper stickers. (The stickers themselves are a diversion tactic – the people who slap ‘em on their cars don’t want people to know how sweet their top-of-the-line TVs/surround sound systems are for risk of people exploding from jealousy.) In fact, we love TV so much, we treat it like it’s our second job. Men watch 29 and ladies watch 34 hours worth of it each week – if we were making minimum wage for doing so, we’d be up $928 and $1088 respectively every month. (Finally, a job where women can make more than men!)
Over the average person’s lifetime, six years are spent – sorry, wasted – eating. Six years, dude. Just chewing up stuff that goes down your gullet and out of your butthole (crass, I know, but true). Here’s a question for you: Is it worth it? (NOTE: This question meant to be rhetorical – it’s obviously worth it, since without food you would die within days.)
If you sleep seven hours a night, you’ll have slept a total of 22 years by the time you die. If you sleep eight hours, that number increases to 25 years. The numbers themselves, however, are a mere formality – knowing that you will waste almost a third of your life asleep is the take away message from these statistics. Wiki Answers, which is infallible, is where I found this information. And if you can’t trust Wiki Answers, who can you trust?
Are you ready to hear something that’s gonna make you break down in sobs? The average American spends 22 hours per month watching videos online. That’s 267 hours per year. That’s over 11 solid days spent watching people fall off skateboards and monkeys smelling their own asses. (Oh, and dude? I put a spycam in your room; I totally just taped you sobbing and I’m gonna get, like, hella hits off it.)
Sitting in Traffic
Just when it seemed like traffic couldn’t suck any worse, I showed up and told you that the average American spends 45 hours a year in it. Sawwee. Hope your car has an AM/FM radio.
According to the interwebs, most people spend eight hours per month (or 15 minutes a day) on Facebook. That doesn’t sound right, though – it’s gotta be much, much more than that. After all, people have gotta keep up with all those cat memes their dumbass friends are constantly posting. Thank God for Smart Phones!
If you work 40 hours a week, you work 2,080 hours a year – that means roughly 87 days outta each year’s measly 365 is spent workin' for the man. Assuming you stay in the labor force for 50 or so years, you'll have squandered 4,350 days – almost 12 years – toiling away. Too bad you weren't born rich, buddy.
Hell, even your grandma texts now – young folks, however, are still the most egregious offenders. A recent study found that students send and receive about 100 messages per day; assuming they spend 30 seconds reading and sending each message, that means they spend a total of 100 minutes a day reading things like “cu l8r lol.” Let me remind you that each day only has 1,440 minutes in it.
What other activities squander the precious time we have on Earth? Let me know in the comments!