When I think of the funnest things a family can do together, one of the very first things that jumps to mind is a great family restaurant - somewhere you can all go together to sit down and share some mozzarella sticks, chat with the smiling wait staff, and maybe even get a free piece of cake on your birthday. Of course, the very last thing that jumps to my mind is sitting down to play Resident Evil together. First of all, it's a one player game. Second of all, it contains scenes of violence and gore. And third of all, Grandma f*ckin sucks at it.
That stupid b*tch forgot the lighter back in the box. Some speed run this is.
And even though they have no business together, next month Capcom plans to infect fun family dinging with the T-Virus. Yes, the Biohazard Cafe and Grill S.T.A.R.S will open next month in Japan, and while it's an incredibly clumsy title, remember that this is Capcom we're talking about. It could have been a lot worse.
The name Resident Evil Cafe Gold Turbo Edition Operation: Collector's Edition Alpha 3 Nemesis HD Remix was definitely considered.
One would imagine this is happening to tie in with the release of Resident Evil 6 in October. Hopefully there isn't a ton of cross-promotion between the restaurant and the game.
"WOULDN'T A BLOOMIN' ONION BE GREAT?"
While no details or menu items were announced, I like to think I know Resident Evil well enough to guess what's going to happen. Before you even get inside you're going to have to run around the parking lot until you find four jewels that fit in the statue outside the restaurant to unlock the front door. Then when you get in, the host will call you "stranger" before leading you to your table. You'll have to pick up a crank to activate water at your table and, if you want soda, you'll have to find the hexagonal plug. The meal can start with a green herb salad and you'll order from a waitress is named Hunnigan. They're all named Hunnigan.
"Hey Hunnigan, my fries are burnt!"
"Looks like you'll need to find a circular crest to get new ones, Leon."
"My name isn't Leon."
Are you going to book a flight to Japan to eat at Resident Evil Cafe? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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