I'm not a professional burglar but, I'm thinking perhaps a little recon mission is in order, before one attempts to burglarize a house? Yes? 56-year-old transient Jonathan Kirby learned that the hard way when he broke into a Sherman Oaks mansion this week and was confronted by the seriously muscle-y owner of the house, actor/rapper LL Cool J. That's when some sh*t when DOWN! Let's just say that the ladies may love Cool James, but the home invaders threatening his home and family most certainly do not.
Even though Kirby had triggered the alarm and the police were on the way, LL decided to give the burglar the mother of all knuckle sandwiches, AKA beating the living crap out of the guy. Hey, I don't think we have to repeat what LL's mama always told him and good boys always listen to their mamas.
The robber was taken to the hospital. His injuries include a broken nose, a broken jaw and broken ribs. DAYUM! Lesson? Do not mess with a guy who can even plausibly PLAY a Navy SEAL on TV! The best part is that Kirby was a legit threat to the neighborhood and is believed to be responsible for a slew of recent robberies. So LL is all kinds of hero.
And in other good news, Kirby's homeless days may be over!! Okay, it's not really great news. Kirby has prior convictions, including burglary, auto theft and voluntary manslaughter (Wait...WHA??), so he will be charged as a three strikes offender. Which basically means if he's convicted of attempting to rob LL, he'll be put behind bars possibly for the rest of his life. Which honestly, might be best for everyone. I mean IDK actually, it's a tough call between being imprisoned and homeless for me. LL will not be charged. So, YAY!
What do you think? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!