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6 Inappropriate Pieces Of Video Game Merchandise

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As soon as there were video games there was video game merchandise. (Hence the "Official Pong White Plank of Wood" from 1972.) But not everything featuring a beloved game character was guaranteed to fly off the shelves…or into your mouth.

 

Atari Asteroids Halloween Costume

video game merchandise Atari asteroids Halloween costume

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When people get dressed up for Halloween they want to look like recognizable characters or creatures, not like walking fungus or plagued with the facial pockmarks of unchecked syphilis. But Atari believed that simply nothing is more fun than pretending to be a chunk of orbiting rock with eye sockets and a shirt that doubles as free ad space. The end result was something repeatedly greeted by the question "And what are you supposed to be?" only to be followed by the sad, muffled reply, "A serious purchasing error."

 

Pac-Man Puppets

video game merchandise pacman mspacman puppets

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What if Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man were made into plush puppets the exact moment they were arrested by vice cops? Well, then you’d have this magical merchandise no doubt inspired by the seedier side of the video game world not seen in "Wreck-It Ralph," in which a pixilated john and hooker are turned into strung-out playthings for kids of all ages. Taken from a 1982 Montgomery Ward catalog, the above photo clearly shows the Pacs just as they were either about to complete an alleyway transaction or come to the horrifying realization that all those dots in their games were actually tabs of mescaline.

 

Super Mario Cheez Whiz

video game merchandise super Mario cheez whiz

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Let’s forget what not even being able to use the correct spelling of "cheese" says about your product’s ingredients and instead focus on how a Japanese character of an Italian plumber came to represent the most American of foods outside of Twinkies and just shoving wads of white bread in our mouths. Super Mario has appeared on every food item possible from cereal to canned pasta to probably whatever you’re halfway through eating right now. But this time Nintendo seemed to set the bar for what a stomach can handle a little too high, as if asking, "Just how much do you really want to eat all this whiz so you can finally have someplace to store your pennies?"

 

Sonic the Hedgehog Crystal Wine Goblet

video game merchandise sonic hedgehog wineglass

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While fans of Super Mario got to enjoy a polymer being passed of as a dairy spread, Sonic the Hedgehog aficionados could enjoy this limited-edition stemware etched with Sonic’s 10th anniversary logo and carefully wrapped in gold foil and blue satin. That way gamers could sit back on their leather chairs in their estate’s reading salon, gently adjust their ascots as they ring the bell for their canapés, and lift their exquisitely detailed glass chalice of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac in a toast to just how unbelievably, unforgivably dreadful "Sonic the Hedgehog 2006" truly was.

 

Video Game Cartridge Vinyl Figures

video game merchandise Nintendo cartridge action figure

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What could be more fun than playing a video game? How about playing with a Nintendo cartridge action figure based on a video game that never actually existed? With these fully poseable…things…kids everywhere can enjoy such imaginative playtime activities as pretending what it feels like for a cartridge to be shoved unceremoniously into an NES, stored in the basement with all the other outdated technology, remembered as the lousy game Grandma got you for the holidays, or sold used to Game Stop for 40-cent credit.

 

Angry Birds Bra

video game merchandise angry birds bra

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Finally the warring factions of bird and pig come together in lingerie that will have you saying, "Isn’t it just a little creepy that they’re staring at one another and laughing? Or sneering? Or saying to one another ‘I bet mine’s bigger!’"

 

Which is the worst piece of merchandise?? Let us know in the comments below!

Check out 20 Hilariously Awkward Parent Autocorrects!


YouTube Video Almost For Sure Captures Definitive Proof of Bigfoot?!

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Just last week, YouTube account Beard Card posted a video shot in Utah's Provo Canyon that finally, after years of speculation, conspirtacy theories, and commercials for beef jerky, conclusively (sort of) and definitely (not definitively) proves the existence of Bigfoot:



We got you you son of a bitch.

Everything seemed normal at first and then it's like BAM Bigfoot! As you could see, the subject of the video appears, at first, to be a black bear in the middle of the forest. Nothing weird about that, right? But then all of a sudden that fool stands RIGHT THE F*CK UP and takes the silhouette of a MAN. And I'm sitting here watching it like "HOLD UP. What are you tryin' to pull, bear? Ain't you know you got the straight up silhouette of a MAN?!"


full body man
The resemblance is uncanny.
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The video's been viewed over 5 million times since it was posted on October 30th, meaning it must be true. That's how it works — when enough people see something, it becomes ubiquitous. Conventional wisdom. This video proves the existence of Bigfoot the same way the box office gross proves Episode I is the best Star Wars movine.

Did you know that? That Episode I is the top grossing Star Wars movie?


episode 1 jar jar
I literally feel so angry right now I don't think I should drive.
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So there you have it. Pretty much kind of definitive proof that Bigfoot is out there. Do you FINALLY believe? Is this enough for you? Honestly, at this point, if you don't believe in Bigfoot, I don't know what to even say to you. What DO you believe in? To me it's so cleart now that Bigfoot exists that if you don't believe it, I must question whether you believe ANYTHING exists. Do you believe in RADIO WAVES? In EXPENSIVE WATCHES? In MOVIE POSTERS?


dog in forest
How about DOGS? Do you believe in DOGS?
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What are you going to do when the world is overrun with Bigfoots? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 


Check out Man Dies Trying to Make You Believe in Bigfoot!

20 Misinformed Geek Shirts

How to Look Cool at Parties!

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Listen, no one’s born cool. Babies are the lamest things on the planet – all they do is eat mush, defecate in their pants, and go to bed at 7PM. Can you say BO-RING? Thankfully, most babies don’t stay lame their entire lives. They grow up, chill out, and get cool. How, you may ask, do they get cool? It’s easy – they take lessons from super cool dudes and dudettes like me. Want to look cool at parties? Follow my lead.

 

Wear a Hawaiian Shirt

how to look cool at parties hawaiian shirt

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I've got two words for you, dude: Hawaiian. Shirt. Can’t find a Hawaiian shirt on short notice? Don’t worry! Novelty t-shirts work just as well. Just motor down to your local Spencer’s Gifts, scoop up a “Who Farted?” tee, and get ready to get popular.

 

Sport Some Sunnies

how to look cool at parties wear sunglasses indoors

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The only thing cooler than a person wearing sunglasses is a dog wearing sunglasses. If you can read this, however, you probably aren’t a dog. You can get close to dog-level coolness, though, by wearing sunglasses indoors – combining an unnecessary pair of sunnies and a James Dean-esque lean against the wall will get you respect. (Bonus points if you do the above activities at night.)

 

Puke in Private

how to look cool at parties puke in private

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Eat waaaaay too much Hot n’ Ready pizza? It happens to the best of us, bro. Just make sure there's no one within eye- or earshot when you throw up. It'll add an air of mystery to you.

 

Name Drop Famous Folks

how to look cool at parties name drop steven tyler

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Enter conversations by saying things like, "Yeah, dads can be the worst. When my dad, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, gets up in the morning, he's always cranky." Because everyone knows that Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler is, like, the coolest dude who has ever existed – by associating yourself with him, you become cool by proxy.

 

Quality Beverages = Quality Party

how to look cool at parties bring good soda

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Wanna be a hero? Bring name-brand soda to the party; none of that Shasta or Stars & Stripes crap. Coke and Pepsi literally costs a dollar more – hell, sometimes it’s even cheaper than the generic stuff – and it doesn’t taste like poverty. Also, bring cans of soda. Two liters suck; nine times out of ten, they’re flat before you even open ‘em. And that’s a party FOUL, brother.

 

Stay Awake

how to look cool at parties don’t fall asleep

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Please, for the love of God, don't fall asleep. I’ve been cool for quite some time – for some reason, though, I always mess this one up. Falling asleep at a party increases the likelihood of someone drawing something lewd on your face with a Sharpie 148%. DON’T LET YOURSELF BE MADE A FOOL OF.

 

Fire Up Some Fourth Meal

how to look cool at parties eat taco bell

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Bring one of those 12 for $10 Taco Bell Party Packs, position yourself in the middle of the party, and eat the contents of said Party Pack. People will be impressed by your snacking skills and admire your stamina – everyone is gonnawannabe you or be with you. You’re welcome. Now go throw up.

 

Are you cool enough to hang with my super cool crew? Prove it in the comments!

 

Check Out What The Crying Girl At The Party Is Crying About!

5 Reasons Halo 4 is the Best Halo Yet!

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There's nothing better for breakfast than scrambled eggs, bacon, and a warm blueberry muffin. This is INDISPUTABLE. But if you have scrambled eggs, bacon, and a warm blueberry muffin, eventually you start to get sick of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a warm blueberry muffin. This is how I started to feel about the Halo series after Halo 3: ODST and Halo Reach came out. Sure, it's good, but I kind of get it. Something has to change here.

But with this week's release of Halo 4, everything has changed. It's far and away the best Halo game of all time, but it's simulataneously different enough to make it feel new again. Here's what makes it different — the tobasco sauce and whipped cream you selectively add to your scrambled eggs, bacon, and warm blueberry muffin, as it were.

 

The guns sound BRUTAL

halo 4 shooting

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Whoever is the sound designer for Halo 4 needs to get, like, three promotions. The sound of bullets exploding ripping through the air makes even weaker guns like the assault rifle feel more powerful and lethal. This stands in stark contrast to Halo 3, where the assault rifle felt like it was gingerly flicking holy water at the enemy like it was a goddamn Catholic mass or something.

 

Flood mode

halo 4 flood

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I can't think of a more tense multiplayer mode — one player starts out as the Alpha Flood, weilding a hand sword, and takes on the rest of the players, who are shotgun-wielding Spartans. Any human killed by a Flood joins their ranks and begins hunting their former teammates. It adds a touch of tragedy — you are now fighting your former friends. When playing Flood mode, I feel like Halo 4 has turned me into some macabre Shakespeare-lookin' character, fighting the people I thought I cared about most. Thanks a lot for making Halo into a goddamn MacBeth allusion, 343 Industries. Now I have to go cry in a graveyard.

 

Free-For-All becomes Regicide

halo 4 regicide

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It was fine just throwing a bunch of Spartans into a multiplayer map and watching them kill each other, but now that the free-for-all mode has evolved into Regicide, the players now have a goal — kill the king. As any screenwriter will tell you, things are better when everyone has a goal. Can you imagine a Mario game where instead of looking for the princess he, you know, does whatever? Just has himself a lazy day? I mean, I get it, he's earned it, but I don't want to play it.

 

It might be the first Halo game presented in color

halo 4 enemies

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For me, there's always been a weird cognitive disoonance with the Halo campaigns: I enjoy them, but when playing them I find myself incredibly depressed. Of course, now that I've spent some time in Halo 4's brilliant, vibrant world, the explination is clear — the old Halo environments had maybe two colors in them — gray and slate. So now when I'm using bright orange guns to turn illuminated blue monsters to dust in a lush, green jungle, the only thing I have to blame for my unspeakable depression is my poor diet and the way my father treated me when I was a kid.

 

The multiplayer announcer has a whole new sense of urgency

halo 4 announcer

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The Halo multiplayer announcer — who you'll remember screaming "LOST the lead. Tied the leader. Gainedthelead. LOST the lead" — mixed a Five Hour Energy in with his coffee before he recorded his lines for Halo 4. There's an agressiveness to his voice that made me tangibly upset when I was told, nay, scolded, for not protecting my flag.

The only bad part about the announcer in this game is that he seems to not have anything new to yell when you go on a kill streak besides the familiar "KILLamonjaro" and "KILLionaire". I guess we'll have to wait for Halo 5 to hear him yell "upKILL battle", "Is man governed by destiny or does he have free KILL", and "KILL and KILLary Clinton".

 

What's your favorite part of Halo 4? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 

Check out 7 Things You ACTUALLY Learn From Videogames

8 Epic James Bond Gadgets

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Casino Royale was great. Quantum Of Solace was not so great. One thing both movies were missing was awesome gadgets. I know that they were trying to get away from the whole gadget thing, but I think that sweet gadgets are one of the most important things in the franchise. In Skyfall, they have decided to bring back gadgetmaster Q. I really can't wait to see what craziness he cooks up for Daniel Craig. Here are the most epic James Bond gadgets.

 

Ghetto Blaster (Living Daylights)

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Like some of the gadgets on this list, this was only seen in Q's lab. That doesn't make it any less awesome. It's a rocket launcher that is shaped like a pretty sweet looking jam box. I'd finally feel safe walking to the store for candy bars in my neighborhood if I had this on my shoulder.

 

Lotus Espirit (The Spy Who Loved Me)

lotus under water

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James Bond has had a lot of super epic cars, but this is by far my favorite. Not only does it have machine guns and rockets built in to it, it also can turn in to a submarine that is equipped with torpedoes and mines. I really think this should be included in the next Grand Theft Auto game. It would make you unstoppable.

 

Watch Laser (Goldeneye N64)

n64 watch laser

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This was in the movie too, but I'm specifically talking about it in the N64 version. It is intended to be used to open the floor on the train level, but this thing will actually do damage to enemies if you get really close. There is nothing more satisfying than clearing an entire level using nothing more than the watch laser. That's a true sign that you are both a total badass, and you also should probably leave your house more.

 

Bell Rocket Belt (Thunderball)

bond wearing rocket belt

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This was an actual real invention that you could totally use in the real world. The only problem is that at most a flight on one of these only lasts about thirty seconds. I know we have iPhones and all kinds of awesome technology, but I'm not going to consider us to be living in the future until I can fly a rocket belt to the SMOSH offices every day for work.

 

Grappling Suspenders (Diamonds Are Forever)

larry king suspenders

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These are a grappling hook that is attached to suspenders. It's pretty much the greatest scientific achievement in bully defense technology. Next time you're getting harassed just use these to zip away. Just be careful that you don't get stuck or else the bully might decide to use you as a pinata.

 

SNOOPER (A View To A Kill)

snooper

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This is pretty much just a remote control car with a camera taped to it. How have I not thought about doing this yet? When you have a lot of enemies like me, it's important to always know what they're saying about you behind your back. Mostly it's just people talking about how creepy it is that I have a little robot that I use to spy on people.

 

Bagpipe Gun (The World Is Not Enough)

bagpipe flamethrower

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This is a bagpipe that contains a machine gun and a flamethrower. After seeing this, I'm now suspicious of anyone I see playing the bagpipes. Maybe they're a secret spy who want to take me out. I guess I'm just going to have to investigate and make sure they aren't hiding anything under their kilt.

 

The Crocodile (Octopussy)

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This is a small one person boat that looks like a crocdile. I'm mostly excited because if they can make this, I bet they could make a tiny boat that looked like any animal. I'll be the coolest dude at the lake driving around my gyarados boat. The babes are going to have to make a line for makeout sessions. I hope I don't hurt my tongue.

 

Which gadget do you wish that you owned? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!

 

Check Out 7 Movie Inventions That Should Be Made Real!

Students Turn Building Into Nyan Cat Tribute

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So last week we all learned the sad news that Marty, the real life inspiration for Nyan Cat, had died. Needless to say when the inspiration for one of the happiest things to ever hit the internet passes on, the internet untrolls itself and pays tribute. And what better way to honor a fallen meme than with more memes?

 nyan cat tribute

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The one below is awesome. Awesome at making my tear ducts get a work out.

 nyan cat tribute

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But some students at Wroclaw University of Technology, in Poland, have created one of the best tributes of all. Using the windows in a building on campus, they created a 44 minute long light show that is not only a tribute to Nyan Cat, but also includes other popular animations and memes. I'm feeling pretty lazy because I just reposted a RIP Nyan Cat pic on my Facebook wall. And they posted  Nyan Cat on a friggin' building.

 nyan cat tribute

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The tribute is actually part of Project P.I.W.O. which encourages people to turn buildings into amazing light displays. The students created the show using LED screens that are hooked up to computers and other gadgets that synchronize the animation to the music. And then I'm pretty sure they say LUMOS! or ACCIO AWESOMENESS! or something like that. Past Project P.I.W.O. installations include tributes to old school video games and Smosh favorites, like Mario. There are a lot of videos on the YouTube for you to check out.

 nyan cat tribute

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Here's a small peek of the Nyan Cat tribute. You can see all 44 minutes HERE.

 

What do you think of the tribute? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out Real Life Nyan Cat Dies

The 5 WORST Motion Controls In The BEST Wii Games

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Nintendo really set the world on fire with its Wii, a console that brought motion gaming to the forefront and therefore featured some of the most insipid, broken of this generation. But despite them all, the Wii had about the same number of good games as any other Nintendo console, and, just like any other Nintendo console, they were all made by Nintendo. But the toxicity of motion control seeped into every nook and cranny of the Wii, including Nintendo's gems. Here are the worst instances of motion control in amazing Nintendo games.

 

This stupid ball crap in Super Mario Galaxy

mario galaxy rolling ball

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Super Mario Galaxy plays better than almost any game ever made — simply running around on these worlds feels fun and intuitive. So how come towards the end of the game they stick you on top of a ball and make you balance for an hour and a half? Now, I know that the course is ultimately very short and shouldn't take an hour and a half to beat it, but that time accounts for the trip I had to make to GameStop to buy a new Wii Remote after I smashed the first one with a hammer and then smashed that hammer with my fists.

 

Anything in Metroid Prime 3 that involved pulling or pushing away from the screen

metroid prime 3 motion control

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Aiming the blaster and pulling wih the grappling hook in Metroid Prime 3 were no problem, but activating computer consoles. Man, I haven't stressed more about the angle I was pushing something forwad at since I lost my virginity. Wait, let me rephrase that. Losing my virginity? Man, I haven't stressed more about the angle I was pushing something forwad at since I activated computer consoles in Metroid Prime 3. See, I lost my virginity after I played Metroid Prime 3. LONG after.

 

The waggling in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

zelda wiimote

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The motion control in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was clearly tacked on at the last minute, as waggling your arms around does the exact same thing as pressing a button. Now, usually, when motion control seems unnecessary, you can't tell because you've never actually TRIED the game with buttons. But in Twilight Princess' case, a much more intuitive Gamecube version came out on the same day.

I get it, the Wii version was brand new and had features the Gamecube version didn't, but picking the Wii version over the GameCube would be like eating a hamburger with four buns. Remember, more is not always better. Sometimes you just want to eat a hamburger like an adult.

 

Rolling in Donkey Kong Country

donkey kong country returns rolling

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It's not that activating the moption sensor to roll in Donkey Kong Country is bad, pre se. In fact, the mechanic functions quite well. It's just that when you actually make the jerking motion it looks like you're having a sharp, sudden, nervous tick. And nervous ticks make you look suspicious. This all comes together to make playing Donkey Kong Country Returns after you've taken your roommates' last cookie or murdered a homeless man extremely uncomfortable.

 

Boxing in Wii Sports

wii boxing

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When you play Wii Boxing, there's a short delay between your real-life punches and the punches of your on-screen boxing avatar. It's just long enough that you notice something's off subconciously. It's like when your grandmother's eyes used to be blue and now you notice they're green. Something's wrong, but it's hard to put your finger on just what it is. Of course, when you're murdered by an alternate universe version of your grandmother looking for her universe to become the strongest of universes, it starts to make sense. I'll admit that that simile got away form me a little bit there, but the point is WE MIUST BECOME THE STRONGEST UNIVERSE.

 

Which use of motion control did you find most offensive? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 

Check out Tom Hanks Was Going To Star In A Super Mario Bros. Movie?


The 10 Worst Things About The New Ke$ha Video

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"Holy crap! When the frig is the new Ke$ha album dropping? I'm just dying to hear what she does next!"  - said no one ever. Well despite the fact that no one was really clamoring for more, she's back with her new album Warrior. Yay. Not only that but the first video from the album was just released and it's completely WTF! Here's a look at the video where Ke$ha plays a cult leader or something.

Yeah. Well as you may be able to tell I am totally not drinking the Ke$ha Kool Aid. But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to break the video down. Here's a look at the 10 Worst about it. See what I do for you guys?

 

The fact that I have to admit Ke$ha looks like she's been working out

 ke$ha die young video

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There are a ton of reasons you can make fun of Ke$ha, but here shapeless body is no longer one of them. As a douchebag might say, her body is banging. But I'm pretty sure pumping iron doesn't eliminate cooties. It gives you more cooties.  Gyms are like the non-human version of Ke$ha.  At least that's the excuse I use for never going to one. 

 

If it wasn't for this video, these two things would not have been put together

 ke$ha die young video

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There's only one thing more disturbing than realizing that someone's actually attracted to Ke$ha. And that's realizing that the person attracted to Ke$ha is Ke$ha. Oh yeah and 'MY EYES! MY EYES!"

 

This unsatisfying moment where Ke$ha doesn't get shot

 ke$ha die young video

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Can we not even have the pleasure of Ke$ha being faux gunned down?? I mean even Bieber let us have the satisfaction of seeing him blown to smithereens. Thanks a lot Ke$ha. You just made me compliment the Bieb.

 

Proof that Ke$ha made a deal with the devil but so stupidly forgot to ask for singing ability

 ke$ha die young video

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Since she first hit the scene, we've all suspected that Ke$ha must have made a deal with the devil. So inexplicable is her success!!  But now we have proof, because this video is full of devily-stuff. Unfortunately Ke$ha only wished to be a famous singer and not a famous good singer. This is why I spend hours perfecting my wishes so they have no loopholes, just in case I find a genie lamp in the attic one day.

 

Ke$ha acting sexy

 ke$ha die young video

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So what, Ke$ha thinks she's like  Britney Spears now? Even Britney Spears isn't Britney Spears anymore! So stop trying to be sexy, because there's nothing sexy about laying on a stained mattress in your underwear. Or licking the Jack Daniels-infused plaque off of your teeth.

 ke$ha die young video

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Cuts her throat with a laser, still able to sing

 ke$ha die young video

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I think we can all agree on one thing...this girl can't sing. She's even off key when she 'raps'. That takes a special kind of non-talent. Autotune's all like " I can only do so much, people!"

 

This horrifying wolf fight

 ke$ha die young video

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Wolves just make me think of Remus Lupin. And Tonks. And how they died and now Teddy is an orphan. Then I have to make myself feel better by pretending that this is Insanity Wolf attacking Jacob Black. Because yes,  I'm an adult person with the maturity level of a 12 year old. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

Bisexuality Trend Officially Jumps The Shark

 ke$ha die young video

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Lesbianism. No longer a frat boy fantasy. 

 

These wannabe actor's doing anything for a paycheck

 ke$ha die young video

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Imagine if your big break was having to pretend you can't keep your hands off of Ke$ha? I mean yes her body is banging, but it's still Ke$ha we're talking about. I guess that's why it's all so unconvincing. I mean I'm not blaming the actors. Daniel Day-Lewis would turn down this role because he found it too challenging.

 

YOLO trend still going strong

 ke$ha die young video

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This YOLO culture must end. If 1D is jumping on the YOLO  trend, it is no longer badass. Although I do have to say, when Ke$ha says YOLO I have a feeling she really might do something that will make her die young.  I'm not that worried about 1D. When they say YOLO it's because they're eating a Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito that's been sitting out too long.

 

This Dance Move

 ke$ha die young video

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Seriously? Do I really need to explain? Oh yeah and 'MY EYES! MY EYES!'

What's the worst thing you saw in the video? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out The 10 Worst Things I Saw In The New One Direction Video!

The 6 Ridiculous iPhone Apps that Actually Exist!

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It’s 2012, you guys. We’re pretty much living the future, and there are some truly amazing apps to prove it. Here are just six windows into that limitless possibility promised to us by The Jetsons.

 

SimStapler

ridic apps sim stapler

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This free app allows all the fun of stapling without the hassle of potentially jammed pieces of metal and blank indentations. In fact, there’s no paper necessary. Just press your finger on the image of a stapler, and see the animation move up and down. It’s like Second Life for the Super Type-A.

 

Man Trainer

ridic apps man trainer

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Tired of boyz staring at your boobz? Tell the offending dude to strap your iPhone to his head, and this app will use an accelerometer to sense which direction he’s looking. If he’s checking out your cleave, the app will make a screaming sound. Although if you’re at the point where a guy is willing to let you strap an phone to his head, he’s probably also open to hearing your needs verbally and adjusting his behavior accordingly.

 

Blissify Me

ridic apps blissify me

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This “Feel Good” app provides guided meditations. Rate how relaxed you felt, and you stand to earn points and unlock higher levels. Because if there’s one thing yoga teaches us, it’s that life is a game and we have to win it and if we’re not feeling totally zen it’s our brain’s fault because we suck at life.

 

Toilet Paper Dragging

ridic apps toilet dragger

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If you find this app on a friend’s phone, wash your hands immediately; dude has been playing with his iPhone while sitting on the toilet. Or at least that’s what “Toilet Paper Dragging” claims it’s meant for – the moments in the bathroom just before you reach for real toilet paper and need to practice your dragging motion on something virtual. Ew.

 

Ex-Girlfriend Collector

ridic apps ex gf

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This app allows you to catalog, rate, and trade info about ex-girlfriends with your buddies, complete with a picture. There’s even a place you to enter her measurements. It’s pretty disgusting. I hope this developer never gets laid again in his life. Smosh readers, if you ever want any future ex-girlfriends, do NOT use this app.

 

Hot Guy Alarm Clock

ridic apps bf alarm

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An antidote to the “Ex-Girlfriend Collector”-using ex-boyfriend, this app takes real-life bf’s out of the picture entirely and replaces them with the sound of a hot guy’s voice. Select from a smorgasbord of “wakeup experiences” like "Vampire Castle," "Chateau in France (but You're Spies)," and "Clumsy Boyfriend." This app + a body pillow = Adele’s out of business.

 

Have you guys heard of other ridiculous apps? Tell us in the comments!

 

Check Out People Robert Pattinson Should Go Out With Now!

The Stupidest "For Dummies" Books Of All Time

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Books for dummies. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Well, tell that to the functionally literate authors of all those “For Dummies” guides. Over 2,300 “For Dummies” books have been published in the past twenty years, littering coffee tables and Barnes and Noble discount sections the world over. Nine out of ten “For Dummies” guides are somewhat useful – a small handful, however, are too dumb to be believed. The ones on this list are all useless, absurd, or both.

 

worst for dummies books self-esteem

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worst for dummies books self-esteem

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worst for dummies books elvis

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worst for dummies books jigsaw puzzles

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worst for dummies books dungeon master

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worst for dummies books wii fitness

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What’s the dummiest book for dummies you’ve ever seen, dummy? Let us know in the comments!

 

Click here to see The 8 Creepiest (REAL) Children's Books!

Caption The Dog, WIN A SHIRT!

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Awww poor little doggie! I bet he has some very interesting thoughts in his little doggie head. He seems like a sweet boy, but could he be a little dark-sided too? I'd sure like to know what he's thinking right now. Give us a funny caption for this funny picture and if we unscientifically pick yours as the best, you could win a FREE Smosh t-shirt. They're comfy!

bear waving

(source)

If two people come up with the same caption, the first one to comment will be the winner. We will announce the winner Monday and suggestions received after 12:01 AM PST on 11/12/12 will not be considered. Good luck! 

CAN'T WAIT? You can buy a shirt HERE!

10 Unanswered Questions from 90s Songs

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Those of us too young or too not alive to appreciate the 90s may be confused by some of the more popular singles of the decade. Here is a compilation of some of the more lingering questions that were posed or inspired by these hits and some that actually have answers.

 

“Lump” – President’s of the United States of America

The Question: Is Lump OK? Should Someone check on her

Sample Lyric: She's lump she's lump  She's in my head  She's lump she's lump she's lump  She might be dead 

According to the song there’s a female named Lump who may be mentally disabled if not violently so and is homeless. The man can’t stop thinking about her and leads her on sexually based on her suspected promiscuity but in the end he abandons her somewhere where she could be lying dead or dying. Why have no criminal charges been filed? Why has nobody looked for lump!? JUSTICE FOR LUMP!

 

 

“The Boy is Mine” – Brandy v Monica

The Question: Whose Boy Is It Anyways?

Sample Lyric: I'm sorry that you Seem to be confused He belongs to me The boy is mine

Ignoring the video where it’s clear that the ladies kick the two-timing sleaze to the curb(neck roll, finger snap, sassy eyes) the song doesn’t give any indication of the outcome of this battle of wills. These ladies are so busy competing they have neglected to see the giant douche-e-phant ™ in the room. Why aren’t they just making out? That’s how I solve all my hot lady problems.

 

“The Sign” – Ace of Base

The Question: What is the Sign?

Sample Lyric: I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign

 

Considering they’re Swedish I assume they’re talking about Ikea. I can’t tell you how many fights I got into at Ikea with my ex-boyfriend. “I don’t think the Birknöck will fit our room as well as the Üfgrapple” “When you touch me I long for death”. Swedes (shrugs).

 

“Feed the Tree” - Belly

The Question: What is this hippie talking about?

Sample Lyric: So take your hat off boy  When you're talking to me  And be there when I feed the tree.

Lead singer Tanya Donelly says  the song is a metaphor about commitment and respect, with the tree being a place on a large farm where a family would be buried. Sigh, I miss the 90s. Good thing we have Portland.

 

“Are You That Somebody” – Aaliya

 

The Question: Why are there baby noises?

Sample Lyrics: If I let you know  You can't tell nobody,  I'm talking 'bout nobody (BABY COO) Are you responsible? 

It could have something to do with Aaliyah being referred often as, “baby girl”. More likely it’s just because the producers were being music nerds. The sample used by Static Major and Timbaland was an homage to electronic music pioneers Perrey and Kingsley's and their 1966 hit "Countdown at 6". Honestly? I’m just glad that I wasn’t imagining the sound for the last decade plus. Babies are terrifying.

 

“Let Forever Be” – The Chemical Brothers

The Question: How does it feel like to ____?

Sample Lyric: How does it feel like,  To breathe with everything?  How does it feel like,  To let forever be? 

It’s one of my favorite videos but it’s nonsense is the only sense lyrically speaking. Plus side I’m sure you can probably find someone who knows what he’s talking about at Burning Man.

 

“I Want It That Way” – The Backstreet Boys

The Question: Why did they go with the nonsensical lyric? They sound like d#$@s.

Sample Lyric: Tell me why,  I never want to hear you say,  I want it that way 

 

There were two versions of this song recorded: one that made sense lyrically and thematically and one that didn’t. Guess which one won out? The alternate take has the more logical and affirmative, “I love it when I hear you say, that I want it that way” which brings to mind a bloke who is sensitive and comfortable enough to let his lady lead. The other way he sounds like a controlling a-hole. But boy bands don’t have to make sense, they just have to make little girls feel things and horseback ride.

 

“It Wasn’t Me” – Shaggy

The Question: Is Shaggy the worst Jedi or just and idiot?

Sample Lyric: I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me) She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me) She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)

 

While Shaggy is busy rhyming in the Ewok language last heard at the end of Return of the Jedi, the guy in the chorus comes to his own conclusions. One, that Shaggy is a moron and two, that he should probably be honest with a woman who has already “stayed until it was over”. Call me crazy but I have a feeling she knows.

 

“It Was a Good Day” – Ice Cube

The Question: Which Day is ‘The Day’?

Sample Lyric: Half way home and my pager still blowin up Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. I got to say it was a good day

Blessed Donovan from Murk Avenue did the legwork and now this question can actually be put to rest. SPOILER: The ONLY day where: - Yo MTV Raps was on air - It was a clear and smogless day - Beepers were commercially sold - Lakers beat the SuperSonics, and - Ice Cube had no events to attend was…

JANUARY 20 1992. National Good Day Day. Please remember to mark your calendar fools! Not that you’re foolish. That’s just something they used to say. I’m sorry, I made this awkward.

 

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Wont Do That) – Meatloaf

The Question: WHAT WOULDN’T YOU DO?

Sample Lyric: Girl: Will you make me some magic with your own two hands? Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand? Can you give me something I can take home? Loaf: I can do that!

A lot of people are still confused about this one, but it was actually explained on Vh1 Storytellers ages ago. Each verse mentions two things that he would do for love, followed by one thing that he will not do. The things he wont do are: forget the way you feel right now, forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight, do it better than I do it with you, stop dreaming of you every night of my life. And after being accused of infidelity he ends the song with saying, again, he “wont do that”. So bookmark this page so you have it at the ready the next time you’re at karaoke.

 

Any burning questions you’ve always had about a 90s song? Let me know on Twitter or leave a comment below!

Check out the best of the Drunken Baby meme!

Boba Fett Saves Old People From A Car Crash

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Old people exist for two reasons: to be scary looking while they're asleep in a recliner, and to smell weird in the line at grocery stores. The actor, Daniel Logan, who plays Boba Fett in the new Star Wars movies new society needs those things, so when he saw some elderly trapped in a car wreck he did something about it.


boba fett rescue
"Hold still old people, I'm going to shoot at you until you're saved." "I...ahhh... I don't know if that's going to work Mr. Fett."
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The filthy bottom feeders at TMZ reported that Boba Fett was driving around in Orange County when he saw a totaled SUV on the side of the road with two elderly people and their grand kid trapped inside.


old people trapped
A dramatic recreation of the accident.
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Being the good Samaritan that Boba Fett is, he got out of his car, ran over, and began pulling wreckage off the van with his bare hands to get to the couple. Presumably because he recognized them as interstellar royalty and knew that if he kidnapped them they would fetch a handsome fee on the Tatooine black market.


boba sells old people
Boba Fett never saves anyone without a reason.
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After Daniel had cleared most of the wreckage the paramedics came and got the people out of the car. Daniel Logan is certainly a good dude for having helped save these people. Let's just hope that Jango Fett doesn't hear about his good deed, think that his son has gone soft, and decide that the only thing he can do is hunt his own son.


jango fett hunt
Boba and Jango, in better times.
(source)

Do you like going out with your father on his assassination missions? Let us know in the comments below!

 


Check out 7 directors who should direct the next Star Wars!

What is it Going to Take for Us to get Sick of Zombies in our Popular Culture?

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It used to be that zombie movies were their own genre. Much like action, romance, or detective movies, zombie apocalypse films could give audiences a familiar story — the slow burn discovery of a zombie epidemic that soon overtakes the world is as familiar as chocolate cake — and layer interesting characters, themes, and twists on top of it, like frosting. Day of the Dead, one of the very best zombie movies, is essentially a perfect vanilla cake topped with a really weird, interesting coconut meringue.


day of the dead
This It's is kind of cake I want served at my birthday party.
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But ever since Shaun of the Dead combined zombies with the romantic comedy — and let's be honest, the romantic comedy needed it — we've seen the zombie genre itself become less of a cake and more frosting. It seems that whenever an entertainment property needs a jolt, they haphazardly throw zombies into the mix. We've seen this zombie-as-addendum-fad happen to South Park, Red Dead Redemption, Crackdown, Pride and Prejudice, Community, Call of Duty, and even Marvel's superheroes.


marvel zombies
No better feeling than knowing ALL MY HEROES ARE DEAD.
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Zombies in pop culture have become so widespread that even franchises that had been purged of zombies now have zombies again. Capcom made the decision to take zombies out of Resident Evil starting Resident Evil 4, replacing them with the more intelligent Ganados. But with last month's release of Resident Evil 6, the zombies are back, meaning that even those we thought were cured are still susceptible to infection.


resident evil 6 zombie
"This is like déjà vu all over again!" my functionally brain dead
uncle would say if he played Resident Evil 6 in an attempt
to connect with me.

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Listen, I love zombies, and I want them to be culturally relevant as possible. So the question is, is this a problem? Should there be movies, books, and video games specifically devoted to telling zombie stories or should zombies play a role in other stories. To resurrect a long-dead metaphor, do zombies function better as cake or as frosting? On one hand, there's the risk of overexposing zombies, and making everyone sick of them.


jesus risen
On the other hand, zombies have been hastily added to stories for a long, LONG time.
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Maybe it's good for zombies to ebb and flow in and out of pop culture. The argument could be made that zombie movies were becoming stagnant, with every zombie movie having a ruthless, inhuman military and some form of the "run and find somewhere new to survive or hide in the basement where it's safe" dilemma. But I do believe zombies are in danger of being overexposed. If we're going to save zombies from death, then for right now. It's time for zombies to pull back. And the first step is quarantine.


zombie quarentine
No zombies in any movies besides zombie movies.
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And then, as new zombie-specific movies are released, we can study them. Find out what makes zombie movies so appealing.


Day of the Dead
"Heyyy, they can still have a BRAIN."
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Then, we can think back on what made zombies' appearances in superhero comics, western video games, and animated TV shows successful. Those lessons can then be brought BACK to stand-alone zombie films.


zombie headphones
In other words, we can teach zombie films new things.
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And soon, we'll have zombie movies that are better, stronger, and smarter than they were before. We can have a whole new kind of zombie movie. A zombie movie that could gain some cultural respect. A zombie movie that could win an Oscar. A zombie movie that could attract some A-list talent. Can you imagine? A zombie played by Robert Pattinson?


zombie salute
And then we'll have a zombie movie we'd be really comfortable to invite into our homes.
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Are you tired of zombies in your popuylar culture yet? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 


Check out Has the Zombie Apocalypse Already Begun?

10 Pairs Of Cartoon Characters You Didn't Know Were Voiced By The Same Actor

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It can be baffling enough when you see the voice behind one of your favorite cartoons! For instance, I don't know,  finding out that Mila Kunis voices dumpy Meg on Family Guy? That was a real kicker! But it can be even more mind-blowing when you realize that two very different characters are voiced by the same person. It can destroy the illusion and I hate when illusions are destroyed. Oh well, as long as Ryan Gosling is still my boyfriend, I guess I can survive anything! Here's a look at some pairs of cartoon characters, surprisingly voiced by the same person.

 

Bender and Jake

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

It says a lot about voice actor John DiMaggio that he can play the alcoholic sociopath Bender just as convincingly as he can the laid back canine Jake. A little Bender must have seeped into Jake that time he wanted to squish all the cute people.

 

Fuzzy Lumpkins/ Cat

 cartoon same voice actor  cartoon same voice actor

(source)(source) 

Redneck rageaholic and politely cunning cat? Is there anything voice actor Jim Cummings can't do? These two are even more of an odd couple than cat and dog! But they would be way creepier attached to each other. Don't get any ideas Dr. Josef Heiter!

 

Vicky the Babysitter and Azula

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

Looks like Grey DiLisle has the monopoly on malicious chick villains! Although I have mad respect for Azula and I just want to kick Vicki's ass. I have no desire to get my ass kicked by Azula.

 

Moe and Venom

 cartoon same voice actor  cartoon same voice actor

(source)(source) 

I think we all know that Hank Azaria does like a zillion comic cartoon voices. That's the official tally, A ZILLION. I checked on IMDB. But you may not know he also voiced Venom on Spiderman-The Animated Series, which was not at all comical. Unlike the casting of Topher Grace as Venom in Spider-Man 3. That was a joke, right?

 

Ma-Ti and Robin

 cartoon same voice actor

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Scott Menville must feel pretty lucky that he went from playing cornball heart-healer Ma-Ti  to playing badass hero and leader of the Teen Titans, Robin.  I love the planet and all, but Captain Planet and the Planeteers was corny as hell, y'all! Can we all just admit this fact now?

 

Princess Peach and Cortana

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

I mean clearly Jen Taylor has a niche: totally kickass video game vixens. But Princess Peach and Cortana couldn't be more different. For instance, Cortana sexy fan fiction is way more understandable than Princess Peach sexy fan fiction. FACT.

 

Eeyore and Optimus Prime

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

Congratulations Peter Cullen. You have won the 'Most WTF character pairing on the list' award. I'm making you the trophy right now. It looks like a pot of honey but it turns into big rig with flamethrowers attached to the sides. You're welcome!

 

Raphael  and Pinky

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

I guess it kind of makes sense that Rob Paulson played Pinky and Raphael. I mean Pinky is totally compatible with jerks and Raphael is generally considered the jerkiest TMNT. I mean that in a good way.  I'd rather be a d*ck than be boring. I'm looking at you Donatello! 

 

Green Lantern and Wilt

 cartoon same voice actor  cartoon same voice actor

(source) (source) 

I kind of wanna see these two star together in buddy comedy/action flick!  Actor Phil Lamarr will have to double-duty I guess. On a side note, Wilt is my favorite imaginary friend and I don't even like sports! I am however a huge fan of fashionable wrist sweatbands. 

 

Tommy Pickles and Buttercup

 cartoon same voice actor

(source) 

I am so jealous of E.G. Daily!! She gets to be the voice of a Powerpuff Girl and a Rugrat!? I didn't think I could be anymore jealous of her and then I found out she was Pee Wee Herman's love interest in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!  Pre-fapping scandal Pee Wee was so adorable...amirite?

Which one were you most surprised about?  Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out 8 Surprising Celebrity Voices Behind Some Of Your Favorite Cartoons!

8 Superheroes Who Are Bad Role Models

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When most people think of Superheroes, they conjure images in their mind of might caped crusader taking down evil doers to save innocent people. They are seen as infallable demi-gods that must be looked up to and respected for the power they hold and how they choose to wield it. Superheroes are just people and not everyone of them should be seen as a model of how to live your life. Here are superheroes that are bad role models.

 

Iron Man

drunk tony stark

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It's illegal to drive a car or fly an airplane while drunk. Tony Stark flew his Iron Man suit drunk and almost killed someone and they made him the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D. That doesn't seem very fair. He should have been thrown in jail like most of my friends.

 

Orgazmo

orgazmo foreign movie cover

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Orgazmo is a superhero created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park. His main weapon is a gun that forces anyone it shoots to, uh, uh, "reach satisfaction." I don't care how just the cause or what crime the person committed. That's just not something you shoudl ever do to another person without their consent. Leave that to Howard The Duck.

 

Hit Girl

hit girl

(source)

Hit Girl showed us that even if you're a little kid, you can still kick ass. She kicks a little bit too much ass though. I know that I'm really glad that Hit Girl wasn't in my graduating class. I would probably have several fewer fingers than I do now.

 

Batman

batman dead parents meme

(source)

Batman really needs to learn how to deal with grief. A lot of people lose their parents. It's a terrible thing, but I don't think that justifies going around beating up poor people for the rest of your life. Maybe instead sending all of these uninsured people to the hospital, Bruce Wayne should try to figure out what the root cause of all of the crime in Gotham is and change the community for the better. Building a new rec center is going to do a lot more for a kid than beating his dad up.

 

Speedy

speedy

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Speedy had a heroin problem. You would expect someone named Speedy to be more in to uppers than downers, but addition is a dangerous and complicated thing. The comics where Speedy became an addict and then eventually recovered were highly praised for showing kids the horrors of drug addiction. The thing about it though is that Speedy never had any real lasting effects from being on the junk other than losing the friendship of Green Arrow. He pretty much just went right back to being a super hero. He is a master marksman with an arrow. I'm pretty sure that being a heroin junkie is going to make your hand a little less steady.

 

Flatman

star trek and wars playing poker

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To be fair, you shouldn't expect much out of a member of the Great Lake Avengers. They were a team so terrible that the actual Avengers made them change their name. Flatman doesn't reall have much going for him. He claims to be a doctor, but that's a lie. The only real accomplishment he's ever had in his career as a superhero is winning a big purse in a poker tournament. Not exactly the kind of guy that would make his mother proud. Unless his mother was a casino floozy.

 

The Punisher

punisher and archie

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Most superheroes have some sort of moral code. Not the Punisher. He kills absolutely everything in his path without mercy. One time in a comic, I'd like to see The Punisher solve a crime by just talking to them. Of course, after talking to them, he would probably still blow them up with a rocket.

 

Arm Fall Off Boy

arm fall off boy comic panel

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I'm tired of hearing on the news about kids ripping off their own arms and beating people up with them. It just has to stop. The only way to stop it is to ban Arm Fall Off Boy from all forms of media! No child should ever emulate what he does. If we work really hard, we can overcome this problem that is plaguing the youth of the world.

 

Which superhero is the worst role model? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!

 

Check Out 7 Superheroes With Absolutely Useless Powers!

Caption The Dog, Win A Shirt Winner!

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This past weekend we asked you to come up with a funny caption for this sith dog. After thousands of entries, we've unscientifically picked a winner!

So congrats to UberFoxPKC, for coming up with the caption for this picture! So many funny captions this week!!

"Feel the Power, of the BARK Side!"

 

Thanks for all you funny submissions! Look for another contest later in the week!

Didn't win? You can still buy a shirt HERE!

Invisibility Cloak Will Soon Actually Exist

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Science is one step closer to inventing a device that is 100% guaranteed to be used more for evil than for good.


invisible evil guy
Yeah, I'm sure this guy is about to do some real socially responsible things.
(source)

The CBC News reports that scientists at Duke University have recently built onto invisiblity technology from 2006 to allow light to pass around whatever object is wearing the device so the human eye cannot see it. As you'll notice in the picture above, earlier modes of invisibility left "edges." By adding copper strips to the material scientists were able to adjust for this problem and add even more invisibility to the technology.


dudes playing video games in college
Fun Fact: Women, did you know that when the invisibility cloak is perfect there will be an average of 14 invisible guys in the shower with you?
(source)

The study is partially funded by the U.S. Office of Naval Research and the Army research office, so that's a terrifying sign. Are we really that excited for the U.S. Government to be able to be invisible? I'm already annoyed at them that they can tell how many Bob Dylan B-Sides I've torrented.


invisible government
Yeah, I can't wait till these guys are invisible.
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I'll be the first person to admit that it would be cool to be invisible. But if I had to pick between being able to be invisible and having the United States government be able to be invisible, I would definitely choose not being invisible. Come on scientists, invent us some super powers that are awesome, but wouldn't completely dis-empower ordinary citizens by giving governments and multinational corporations spy capabilities they are guaranteed to exploit. Make us Wolverine claws. No one can spy with Wolverine claws. Everybody could benefit from having them. Teenagers can have fun cutting open beer bottles with their claws to impress their friends. Housewives can cut vegetables three times as fast as with an ordinary knife. Everybody wins.


once upon a time cast
A better world? Clearly.
(source)

What would you do with wolverine's claws? Let us know in the comments below!

 


Check out People With Invisible Stuff!

10 Celebrities You Didn't Know Were In Video Games

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Video games give us a lot of opportunities to live our dreams. Sometimes our dream is to kill Zombies, and other times, like in the SIMS games, our dream is to have God-like power over our own creations. In The Sims 3 Seasons, which comes out today, you even get to control SEASONS, which is pretty powerful. Plus who doesn’t like treating their Sims to a punishing blizzard? But what if your dream isn’t about weather, and you want to hang out with celebrities? Well, some games make that dream come true, even if they are a little strange….  Here’s a look at 10 celebrities who you didn’t know were in video games.

 

Katy Perry - Katy Perry Sweet Treats

 celebrity video game

(source) 

In March of 2012, Katy Perry fans got a virtual opportunity to be with or even BE Katy Perry. A teenage dream come true!

 

Lady Gaga - Gagaville

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Lady Gaga partnered with Zynga on Gagaville, a Farmville spin-off that helped raise money to aid Japan after the devastating 2011 earthquake, which is an awesome reason to lend your name and image to a video game. The good news is it raised money for an awesome cause. The bad news is it still doesn’t make Farmville cool. Sorry, Aunt Jean!

 

Avril Lavigne, Andy Warhol ,Christina Aguilera ,Marilyn Monroe, Bon Jovi, Freddie Prinze Jr. - Sims Superstar

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Finally! An opportunity for everyone to get their 15 minutes of fame! Well, virtual fame at least.The best part of this Sims game was the opportunity it gave players to virtually interact with superstars like Marilyn Monroe, Christina Aguilera and... Freddie Prinze Jr.!? Um I hate to be mean but...does the word superstar have NO MEANING anymore!?!

 

Mark Wahlberg - Make My Video

 celebrity video game

(source) 

In the early 90s, Sega released the Make My Video series of games that allowed YOU to create videos for the likes of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Wow, Marky Mark.  I’m not the only one who never in a million years saw Mark Wahlberg, Oscar nominee coming...right?

 

50 Cent - Blood On The Sand

 celebrity video game

(source) 

I guess it’s not too weird that 50 Cent created and starred in a series of third person shooter video games. I mean if there’s one thing he’s famous for, other than rapping and partying like it’s your birthday, it’s being shot nine times and surviving. I think we can all agree, shooting is much better when it’s fake.

 

Rickey Gervais - Grand Theft Auto 4

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Okay, this one is pretty surprising. Gervais isn’t exactly someone I would say epitomizes the thug life. But he does stick to what he knows and his virtual self can be seen performing stand-up in the Liberty City Comedy Club. Cheeky!

 

Bert Reynolds – Saints Row: The Third

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Burt Reynolds plays Burt Reynolds, the mayor of Steelport, in this car-stealing, plane-crashing, and zombie-killing favorite. So yeah, not exactly the most challenging acting role of his career. That would be Cannonball Run II I’m guessing...you know because of having to work with a monkey. Still, who doesn’t want Burt friggin’ Reynolds as one of their Homies? No one. That’s who.

 

Snoop Dog – True Crime: Streets of LA

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Snoop Dogg makes everything better! Especially when he’s constantly saying things like...um...well, actually nothing I can print in a PG-13 environment, that’s for shizzle.

 

Ozzy Osbourne– Brutal Legend

 celebrity video game

(source) 

In Brutal Legend, Ozzy plays the totally badass Guardian of Metal. Now normally shopkeepers aren’t considered very badass, but only someone as cool as Ozzy can pull off saying ‘You have interrupted the Guardian of Metal’s nap.” and not look too grandpa-y.

 

Michael Jackson – Space Channel 5

 celebrity video game

(source) 

Nothing humiliates me more than when I have to play any game that involves a dance off. Dancing and me do not mix virtually or IRL. Do I really need the pressure of doing it in front of Space Michael?? Really?

Which one were you most surprised by? Do you play The Sims

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